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Too hard

TeenzCasual Contributor14 Jan 2017, 9:48 pm AEDT

Too hard

Feel like life is too hard at the moment.
Feel trapped and like I want to run away.
I feel like I can't fix anything and powerless.

My kids are with me full time at the moment, after constant bullying and interrogation, telling my daughter she is mentally ill and poisonous, them telling my kids that I am toxic and mentally ill, after the last incident of abuse where it got physical they don't want to see their father and his girlfriend. He is trying to get them to see him, and buying them things to encorage them to like him. He is acting like I am preventing them from seeing him, and has threatened me with court action. The school counsellor got him to back off, now it is just a mediation. But I am scared of how that is going to pan out.
I have to have a minor surgery for diseased cervix, that makes me anxious.
My blood sugar is low, so made an appointment to see about that.
My job is stressful, there are occasional bulling issues which triggers my ptsd, and I am always tired and sore.
All my days off I have appointments.
I can't do the things I want to and enjoy, I am too tired, and emotionally drained.
I have my 12, 14 y.o and my 20 y.o and her girlfriend living with me, and I feel like none of them care enough to help out, they dont do much at all despite my asking almost every day. I feel like a failure of a parent.
My daughters girlfriend has ripped the stitching of my lounge out of carelessness tonight, I pointed it out, she took no ownership. I just feel so disheartened and powerless, like I just don't care anymore.

Thanks for listening.

4 replies

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In response to: Too hard

Unknown userMember14 Jan 2017, 10:34 pm AEDT

Re: Too hard

Hi @Teenz

Welcome to the forums! i'm glad you've come here, even though things are not great at the moment! It sounds really full on, two teenagers in the house and an adult child would be challenging! I have young kids and no idea how i'd manage those years to come.

Custody issues/seperation issues are awful and extremely stressful. I'm still going through court with my ex as well and its just overwhelming. I really hope that the mediation goes ok. Have you got some support/someone to go with you?

I worked full time last year and found i just never had any me time as well. its hard being a mum and working full time. I do try to do something nice for me occassionally and always get told by my support people that i need to do more self care... enjoying little things like a cuppa, or burning a candle that smells good etc... they assure me that all the little things help!

hope that you find some friendship and support here on the forums,

In response to: Re: Too hard

TeenzCasual Contributor14 Jan 2017, 10:47 pm AEDT

Re: Too hard

thanks lj xx
I don't have any support really, no friends or family other than my kids.
My 14yo's school counsellor told me she had cut her self at her fathers and taken large amounts of ibuprofen. I was in shock when he told me, I had no idea, as she had shown no sign at home other than being a bit withdrawn. So he referred her to adolecent mental health, we have been there and it has been good, the therapist said last time she might try to sort something for me while we are there for my daughters next appointment. I'm looking forward to it, as I am feeling lost and alone.

In response to: Re: Too hard

Unknown userMember14 Jan 2017, 10:53 pm AEDT

Re: Too hard

oh no, that is really scary for you daughter and you @Teenz

I'm glad that the school counsellor is helping. It might be good for you to get a letter or statement from the adolescent mental health therapist about any effects of your ex on her if possible to take to mediation/keep in your records in case you do need a family court order.

Sounds like the therapist is realising that you need some support too which is excellent. Another good place to start is your gp.. might be able to get a referral from them as well.

I dont have family either and a few friends, but mostly they live too far away to be able to help.

You're not alone here 🙂

In response to: Too hard

utopiaSenior Contributor14 Jan 2017, 11:47 pm AEDT

Re: Too hard

@Teenz. I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time at the moment.
I can relate to the teenagers not wanting to help out. I'm a single parent of a 14 year old. I'm sick of nagging him to help out. And it's not even helping - I'm just talking about his regular chores.
And then he is a teenager and doesn't care whether I am coping or not. Because he's a teenager. But when you are a single parent, you often have no one else to rely on. So we expect them to be more empathetic and understanding than they are capable of being. So I hear your pain and frustration.
It does sound like you are overwhelmed with everything at the moment. I'm glad the school helped get your ex to back off a little. Itthink you need an activity that is just for you. A meditation or yoga class. An arts group or book club. Something where you can get out of the house for an hour or two each week. Away from the kids. Away from work. Away from bills. Away from the everyday worries.
Is there something you would like to learn or participate in?

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