Venting/need help

@Twilightsomniac I can hear how much internal conflict this is creating for you. It's so hard to have to spread oneself so thin, hey.

It sounds like you're really worried about an impending break down. Which can definitely be incredibly worrying. But you do have this insight, and perhaps that might mean you can start taking steps to prepare for that possibility? Increasing supports, putting a safety plan in place, that sorta stuff. What do you think might be a good first step to take?

Morning @Twilightsomniac

Nice to virtually meet you. I can empathise with the feelings of being pulled in so many directions with people all wanting a piece of you. Went through the same a while back, which lead to me nearly screaming at everyone to bugger off and leave me alone. I felt I no longer had any time for me and I was being sucked dry.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands, I prioritised me above all else, then those who I was directly responsible for, and if by chance I had time, I might help others out.

Your friends and family know that you have your own stuff that you must deal with, so you have to learn how to say NO. No offense but you are not super woman and you can't be at others beck n call. You have to start looking after yourself, as if you get sick then you are no use to anyone. So the first thing is look after yourself and start saying NO to others. In my case it was a game changer.........Asgard

Hi @Twilightsomniac

Thank you for sharing your concerns with the SANE Community.

Your post indicates that you are a consciousness person, who values her relationships with family members and friends; I also 'hear' that you are challenged by competing priorities, and a sense of moral obligation.

In both aspects, it seems to me that you are doing your utmost to attend to the needs of others, so please keep this in mind. To the same point, a bit of self-compassion is appropriate, particularly, when considering the unrealistic expectations that society places on mother's and women generally.

I wonder have you explained the pressure you are under to your partner, family members, and friends etc.

While not familiar with your individual circumstances, this might help to alleviate some of your concerns and if nothing else, might be cathartic. Similarly, there might be benefit in you connecting with a counsellor to discuss some practical support options moving forward.

Lastly, it takes courage and self-awareness to recognise when you need help to 'carry the load' for a while. This is a strength, not weakness, and aligns with a need for self-care and the love that you have for your family. As such, you have the key motivators for prioritising the things that matter, and those of less importance.

Hi @Twilightsomniac

I can really relate to how you are feeling and can hear in your words the internal conflict you are feeling.

It sounds like you have a good insight into your mental health and the needs of others... what about the needs of yourself? Its ok to prioritise yourself. You mentioned that you feel that you are heading for a breakdown... what things can you put in place to stop yourself from getting to that point, or manage it if you do get there? It can be so hard with young children to get any you time, but it sounds like you really need it.

Do you have any supports in place that can help you - GP or psychologist to discuss how you are feeling, family or friends to help you with care for you kids, house duties, general life stuff? If you feel comfortable in explaining to these people how you are feeling they may show up and help lighten the load for you rather than adding to it for you?

When I was experiencing similar feeling to you, someone said to me "you can't pour from an empty cup". I never thought of it that way, but as soon as I started to say no to things and do even small things just for me my cup started to fill up and I had more capacity to deal with and care for others.

Warm regards

SkySeeker22