Borderline Personality Disorder

Hi @Neek1977

I understand what you are saying and really care - I do wish you the best with your partner - however I know from my past life with my son who had BPD how hard it is for everyone involved to deal with this

I know people with BPD have no control over their emotions and make unpredictable decisions - life with them is chaotic

Unfortunately you are not able to fix this yourself - it's above your pay grade as it was for me with my son - the outcome was not good

You can find a lot of information on this website - also there is a huge amount to learn on the internet

I guess what you do about this is up to you - your partner does need help - if he wants it.

I'm sorry I can't help you myself - it's really tough - I know this

Owlunar

Dear @Neek1977

@Owlunar2

Everything @Owlunar2 wrote I emphasise -

Iv been in therapy for over 20 years currently seeing my Psychotherapist every week because iv decided to go no contact with my Mother.

My mother diagnosed borderline and narcissism -

The absolute best thing you can do is care for yourself. It's like with un examined people with borderline turn this switch on in your brain and it runs bright and sometimes too strong.

I am very convinced my youngest brother has borderline but as I'm not a professional I cannot write this.

If my Mum cared and stopped her lying- I could have had a relationship with her. I could have been loved. But I get support from here --- thanks @TAB

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@Jynx @tyme @MDT @

@creative_writer

@Adge

@PizzaMondo

@lavenderhaze

In my particular circumstances - my Mother wrapped a blanket inside my head where I was forever thinking about her like she was the all powerful.

Mental illness is not a disease, it isn't to be shunned and run away from. These situations you learn so much about yourself.

But in my situation, my Mum is nasty and at 83 years has a group of same like women running around her who are making her feel she is right.

Iv seen my psychotherapist iv seen now for 20 years - yesterday I felt we are getting old together .......

I get carers in where we go for long and luxurious coffees at the cafe and do quilting I want to sew and someone to talk and walk with

I count my blessings every day however I'm also mindful how hard iv worked to be where I am caring for me first and what that means....

I try and study Psychotherapy books

Daily guided meditations about intentions by Dr James Doty.

clothes and overalls. And lately.....a pair of boots .....

My darling partner who is really a little useless in a very loving way but cares for me like you cannot believe. We are both 56 yrs....

My VERY small circle of friends who have recognised and seen my growth.

Typical iv written too much. 😐 Sorry ☕🆒😌

Hello @Neek1977

Sitting with you 💕

And how are you going today ☺️

My husband has had lots of diagnosis

@Determined

@tyme

He may have BPD but it also sounds as though he is demonstrating narcissistic behavior's... if you haven't then you should research into narcissism and its disorder.

Honestly, you are only a couple months in. I would walk away. This dynamic will become increasingly detrimental to your own mental health and wellbeing, and you need to look after yourself first and foremost. It also causes a trauma bond.. the constant hot and cold dynamic will have a psychological affect on you and creates a false sense of adrenaline/dopamine rush. The longer you stay, the harder it'll be to walk away because the dynamic will cause you to be addicted to the High feeling and "Love rush" that comes after the low.

These painful stories they tell you in the beginning is usually a hook for you to feel sorry for them and for them to be victimised (yes, they may be true and unfair) but typically that is what a narcissist does... I know because I was in a relationship for 2 years with one.

This person seems as though they have demons they are battling....(hence the black eyes when it takes over). This is quite forward and confronting but things are deeper than we realise. This person needs help but it cannot be from you. This will only drag you down and defeat you.

Leave this person where they are at with love and send them your prayers.

all the best

Hey @Neek1977 ,

I'm hearing you.

I have BPD, and what you have just posted pretty much sums up my former life.

I cared so so much and felt so deeply and any small trigger in my life could send me into a rage. This is not just anger. It is intense rage that we cannot even understand.

Yet at the same time, we love so much, we care so much and we are so passionate.

BPD can be tricky on anyone around, yet imagine the inner turmoil of the person.

For me, my emotional dysregulation caused me to flip the switch at any time. I didn't want to do this. It just happened.

Even though this happens, I want you to know BPD is very treatable. For me, the BPD journey has been worth every moment.

Thank you to all who replied...we have seperated recently and I'm devastated about it.

I remain hopeful that we can reconcile in the near future

Cheers x