Life is tiring

@HopeDream aww hun, thanks for sharing this lil update with us, and I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so low and lonely.

I think it's important to remember that there's no time limit or schedule for grief. Everyone is impacted by loss differently, and losing a close connection like that, even if it was the best decision to make, is a huge adjustment. It's okay to allow yourself time and space to grieve. And if anyone says something like, "you should be over it by now", you can completely ignore them, because it's your process, your journey, and it will take as long as it takes - and that's completely valid.

Sometimes it can really help to focus on the other important connections we have. Have you got supportive friends and/or family to reach out to? Doesn't even have to be to talk about the breakup, you could just let them know you're in need of some company! I'm glad you're connecting to us here on the forums, and you can also give our support line a buzz (1800 187 263 Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm) if you wanna vent or hash it out with someone. Griefline is also always an option too, and I've heard good things about them.

Otherwise, I think for me one of the most effective ways I've managed breakups (other than connnecting to loved ones) is to throw myself into my hobbies. Cultivating creativity is always good for my mood, and if it's an activity that will get me out of the house (and out of the Jynx-shaped groove I've made on the couch haha), even better.

There's no cure for grief, but we do find ways to grow around it. We'll walk beside you as you go 😊💜

Hi @HopeDream

Sorry to hear you are going through this, I can relate to how you are feeling, I went through a few breakups in my lifetime, and they were not fun! It takes time, it will always be on your mind for a while and that's fine, it's normal, give it some time, and things will change. Try to distract yourself from constantly thinking about it, and engage in things that make you happy and bring you joy. Talk to and hang out with your closest friend who understands you, and do activities together. From my experiences, the more I stayed in one place doing nothing, I felt worse and worse, my mind would start to wander and it would never end. Wishing you nothing but happiness 🙂 take care.

Hi @Jynx,

Thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate you saying that I should try to focus on my own healing journey, because sometimes I feel pressured to be "over it" by now. To be honest, a lot of the time I feel like I have to fake a smile because I don't want others to worry about me, but it gets really tiring. But I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I have many friends and family who try their best to support me.

In terms of distracting myself, I've tried bouldering and creative writing, and that's helped a lot. I think bouldering in particular helps take my mind off stuff. I'll also definitely check out other forums on this website.

Thank you again.

- HopeDream

Hi @HopeDream,

Thank you for sharing with us, and I am sorry that you're feeling this way, a few months isn't that long, so I hope you're not beating yourself up too much. We all need to be kinder to ourselves, especially when we're hurting… which I understand is often easier said than done.

I think @Jynx's suggestions of SANE's Support Line and Griefline are great, and I also highly recommend them both.

I'm happy to see that you have supports around you and that you've tried some different activities to help take your mind off of things, good on you!

How are you feeling today?

We're all here for when you feel you need to reach out.