I hate my brain

I hate the way I’m brain thinks like I know the things it’s telling me aren’t true but they feel like they are like I know my friends don’t hate me but it feels like they do so like I was at my youth group on Friday and I’m a youth leader there and I was sitting at the table and I had an air pod in and I was waiting till we started the game and then I got a dm on instagram from one of the other leaders who I’d consider a friend and it just read “ayooo might be a good idea to take your AirPod out lol 🤪 while we are hanging out 💕💕💕💕 ily” like I know she doesn’t hates me but like reading that message it felt like my heart was ripped out from my chest like I know I shouldn’t have had my AirPod in but I was trying to combat some thoughts I was having with music and I know that’s know excuse to have it in and I know she didn’t mean anything by the message it just made me feel like I was a terrible person and I really just wanted to get up and walk out that front door and never return and there’s other instances like this where I know the person doesn’t mean anything by what they say or do but it just feels hurtful and I don’t know why I am like this it really sucks cause I know it’s not true but I don’t truly believe it cause if I did I wouldn’t feel this way there has to be a reason I feel like this