Social anxiety, neurodivergence or both?

I would love to hear any thoughts or opinions that you might have on whether the traits I have listed below sound more like social anxiety, autism/adhd or a combination of both? Or, potentially something totally different?

Things I have noticed in myself..

* I get bored easily in conversation with others if just talking about day-to-day things

* I find it hard to keep interested and focused when other people are telling really long stories where I'm required to listen for a long time.

* Someone told me - they feel like I don't really listen to them properly when they talk

* I frequently plan topics/subjects to talk about in my head before socialising with friends or family, also sometimes practising the way that I will say things (in my head) to feel prepared for the social interaction

* I feel like I am putting on a bit of a performance when socialising outside of my immediate family, always trying to smile, be happy and positive around others, very conscious of my facial expressions/how my face is coming across to others, conscious of how my body is coming across and if I'm standing normally or coming across weird..

* Feel an extreme sense of self-consciousness when out in public particularly when on my own eg. at the shops, public place where there's people. Feel kind of hyper conscious of my whole body, how its moving, making sure I'm not walking too fast, like I'm in conscious control of every movement and expression I make, basically the opposite of being on autopilot. Makes me feel very weird inside and I always have to fight this feeling in public...something that hasn't really gone away. I just feel strange.

* Was told by someone (who hadn't known me that long) - that they felt like I wasn't really being 'me', like not being 'myself', and that I agree with things a lot, am very agreeable.

* One of my parents told me that I don't always have to smile all the time (when around other people eg. friends and family) and that I can just relax my face etc.. as they noticed I was doing this quite a lot.

* Have been told before that I was standing too close/walking behind someone too closely and need to be more aware eg. slow down my pace..

* I walk very fast wherever I go and find it uncomfortable to slow myself down though...feels unnatural.

* Feel like I am so softly spoken and fragile sounding when talking to people in public and can only be my normal true self with my immediate family.

* I am quite emotionally sensitive and can pick up very easily on the mood of the room eg. if there's just been an argument etc..

* Feel like I lack a strong sense of self/identity...feel that I am different when with different people..feel like I don't really have my own personality and that maybe it never really properly developed. I see myself as a bit of a chameleon...like I can almost fit anywhere, but deep down belong nowhere.

* Have never really felt like I truly fit in with a group of people...always feel a bit on the outside...the quiet one.

* When socialising in a group, particularly with people I haven't seen in a while or whom I'm not very close with, I find it very difficult and sometimes almost impossible to talk or contribute to the conversation....it just feels so awkward and uncomfortable for me...like the minute I say something, it feels like there's a massive spotlight on me and everyone's looking at me, judging and analysing everything I say..whether it's intelligent or not ahhh. I hate it. I honestly don't know how people talk so freely and comfortably in group settings. And sometimes I have things to say but just feel so damn shy or nervous to say them and just physically and literally can NOT get the words to come out. Idk. So then I look even more like the weird, quiet person who never really talks.

* When listening to someone, I don't know whether I always process what they're saying properly....almost like there's a bit of a block and I have to focus extra hard on concentrating on what they're saying otherwise I'll have no idea what's just been said. Just the whole process of listening to someone and responding back doesn't always feel totally natural or easy for me. I find it hard to sometimes know what to say back to a person...particularly those I'm not that close with.

* Eye contact. I find it to be the most unnatural thing for me...not as much with my immediate family, but with anyone else, I have realised that I am always subconsciously thinking about it as I'm talking to someone...like I make contact with their eyes and after a few seconds I just have this insane urge to look away as it feels so intimate. ugh. So I'm kind of doing this dance. Looking at them. Then looking down/away. Looking at them. Then looking down/away again. The whole thing just feels so awkward and it distracts me from actually listening to what they're saying, so a lot of the time I end up just smiling and nodding even when I haven't properly heard what they've said, as I'm trying to make sure that I'm making normal eye contact, and the right facial expression at the same time. A constant process of monitoring my self. Ugh. Anyway.

Sorry for the massive list.

I know the best thing for me to do is to speak with a mental health professional, but I would still very much appreciate anyone's thoughts or opinions on these different traits, and whether they sound more anxiety related, neurodivergent-related, or potentially both?

Thank you.