Finances and Family

Hi all,

so I’m a new user here and thought why not try this.

My story starts with me overspending, on junk, I would get loans long term, short term, pay day, buy now pay later you name it I probably had it (or at least tried) but it didn’t stop there, I would loan money from friends and family. It total it came up to about $75000. I know crazy!
My best friend (who I thought was a good friend) also didn’t help by lending me money with no vision of when it would be paid back nor questioned me to why I needed money so often, she knew I worked and made good money.
To shorten my story my husband found out. He paid the institutes debts which came to about $55000 and has verbally abused me on and off since (been about 2-2.5 months now).

this time it’s because I had shares that I sold off behind his back and I’ve been called a lot of things in my life but some of the words were quite hurtful that can’t be taken back.

But because of the blows I’ve been getting I’ve noticed I’m becoming resentful and emotionally just completely spent! There is no other word than spent, which now my husband has taken as I don’t love or care at all.

Through this all, I am also trying to keep my daughter sheltered from it but my husband (her father) will say things to her like, don’t spend money like mum she’s made our family broke (maybe not those exact words but implied)

I can’t tell him that even though I know I’ve done wrong that I still need to be respected or that I still have feelings otherwise the verbal abuse starts all over again.

I know our marriage is in the tether but I just want it done one way or the other. No more verbal abuse and time to recoup our emotional states. To start healing whether it be together or not.

Am I wrong to ask this person who has saved me largely financially and who I’ve financially done wrong by to still show respect to me? To not yell and call me hurtful names or say hurtful things about me?

I don’t know but what I do know is I’m not sure how much of the verbal abuse and name calling I can take before I pack up and leave everything I’ve built behind, my only reluctance is my daughter and what that will mean for her.