I'm drowning

Hi @Cats101 it sounds as though this is all really overwhelming right now. I just want to take a sec to highlight how great it is that despite everything feeling so chaotic, you've still managed to come on here and express some of these feelings.

Are you able to find a quiet spot in the house and just take a few nice deep breaths, or perhaps even taking yourself out of the house for a walk even if it's just up the street and back? Or maybe there's something else that you usually do when you're feeling like this that has helped in the past?

Hi @Cats101

It sounds like there a lot going on for you at the moment.

I know you mentioned that your parents are unwell, but if your sister is home now are you able to get out of the house for bit to give yourself some space?

If not, is it possible for you to take a few minutes for yourself and do something that might help you to decompress - listen to music, meditate, have a shower etc?

Is the chaos a usual thing when you sister is home, or has this just happened now?

Warm regards

SkySeeker22

Hi @Cats101

Firstly, you are such a lovely human being. Some children are blind to the fact that their parents can experience illness and, like most of the population, require care. This is certainly not the case with you, noting your thoughtful consideration for your parents, and a need for calm in the household.

Having said that, self-care is also important, specifically, when you are carrying the bulk of responsibility for keeping things in order, including the wellbeing of your parents. To this point, and appreciating the stressors of your current living arrangements, please remember to prioritise some of the things that make you happy (its perfectly okay to put your own interests first, sometimes).

Beyond this consideration, I wonder have you ever had the opportunity to raise your concerns with your sister. This could happen over a nice cup of tea or coffee and when the anxiety you are currently experiencing has subsided. Also, have you explored the possibility of obtaining outside support (e.g., to help with cleaning, mowing, general maintenance) or to help manage your parents illness?

Lastly, please know that you are doing your best and importantly, have 'been there' for your parents in their time of need. This highlights values of love, compassion, and respect, and suggests that you have the coping skills and resilience to calmly and systematically work through your current challenges.

Hello @Cats101,

I can really feel the stress and frustration in your current situation. It sounds like you've taken on a lot with your parents being unwell and you aren't being adequately helped or supported, your sister isn't feeling the gravity of the situation like you are.

It can be really hard when our parents are not well as not only does it take an emotional toll, if we take on caring duties it can be physically, financially and mentally taxing too, its no wonder you feel like you are drowning.

There are some excellent suggestions here for feeling calmer and also helping to relieve stress in the moment. You cannot pour from an empty cup and you need to take care of you too. As a more long term thing is there any sort of respite or other support available to you? Friends, family or services that can help you out from time to time?

It is not an easy thing that you're doing or going through, be kind to yourself and I really hope things get easier soon. Here with you until they do 💜

I'm sorry to hear today's been hard as well. You could really use some support, and there is help out there for you.

If you're willing to share which part of Australia you are in, I can post links to some services in your area. You do not have to go through this alone, you can get in touch with people who will help you.

Breathe, Cats. You are a kind person who thinks of others before yourself, but right now you need to focus on getting through the evening. Be kind to yourself, too.

Qld south