Struggling and Need Support

Hey @fangorn ,

Welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry to hear that life is pretty tough right now. That feeling of being 'broke' mentally, physically and financially can really have a big toll on your entire being.

Do you have people you can talk to?

Connecting with people may not entirely 'fix' things, but it can help in that you feel less alone.

I have experienced that feeling of being completely broken in life. It was these very forums that helped restore my sense of connection and belonging in the world.

Isolation can be more painful than physical pain sometimes. When I connected with people on the forums, I was able to hear their experiences and know that I certainly wasn't alone.

Please know we are here for you and want to support you through this difficult time.

What are some things you enjoy doing?

@tyme Thanks for your reply! I am really struggling to find joy in anything at the moment. Even things I used to enjoy, like going for a walk or listening to music feel like a chore.

I have been suffering from skill loss. I recently lost my job, because I was no longer capable of performing all the duties required. I have seen a clinical psychologist and a psychotherapist in the past, both of them said my skill loss was temporary.

The psychologist said it was part of my autism burnout, the psychotherapist thought it was trauma related.

I also saw a psychiatrist, who without taking a detailed history or blood tests or anything, decided in a few sessions there was nothing wrong with me, that the issue was me not taking responsibility.

I am currently unemployed and looking for work, so I spend a lot of time tweaking my resume to pick up all the transferrable skills for each application. So far I have had 2 phone interviews where I was not successful and from the majority of applications I hear nothing.

I have a friend I could talk to, although I would be reluctant to talk about everything. I am living in his spare room at the moment, so I don't want to put more on them really.

Hey @fangorn ,

Thanks for responding.

I'm hearing things have gone downhill a bit recently. It's understandable you are feeling this way.

Yet from your post, it sounds like you have a fair bit of insight into what's happening for you and are working through some things.

Seeing the psych said it was a temporary loss of skill, is there some way you know if you are ready to go back to a similar job (if you want to)?

I hope you find this space supportive for your growth and mental health journey.

Hey @fangorn

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. At times when I have been depressed I set myself the smallest of goals and then when I can manage the first goal, I add a second and so on. It can be slow work coming out of a period of depression but it's worth it. In terms of getting food, etc I would suggest having a looks at https://askizzy.org.au/ Ask Izzy - it's a listing service for crisis support in your area...not everything is free on it, but there is a lot that is in terms of food, etc. And welcome to the forums, glad you have found your way here 😊

No timeline, no. Have tried with work from September last year until March this year to get back into my role. No other positions were available according to management. There is no way I can apply for the same job somewhere else, as I am still running into issues, in fact, even the interview process is now so stressful, as I know I am limited compared to what I used to be capable of.

I have been looking at cleaning jobs, or jobs that require little qualifications, hoping to at least get something temporarily.

Hearing you @fangorn . I'm sure you are not alone.

Do you think you can do something from home? I'm not sure what your interests are.

For me, in the past, I've designed framed quotes etc that people order.

I've also made cards, wedding booklets and invitations, place cards etc. I really enjoy it, and mainly did it for interest, but I can see that people can make a living out of it.

I wonder if it's about finding what you are interested in and going from there?

@fangorn

Great that you reached out here. I can hear that you have been trying to get the support you need, and have been given different opinions on what might be causing your skill loss and overwhelm. Looking for work tends to be a "fulltime" occupation in itself....and can bring a lot of stress with it....on top of your financial and emotional burdens.

After hearing it might be autism burnout, trauma related or even as suggested "not taking responsibility"....what are your own thoughts about how this has happened? Did you suffer a lot of stress in your work?

When i look back over my working life, i see now that I was operating from a place of fight-flight and therefore found it hard to focus on completing tasks, got stressed under time pressure, and felt pressured by the expectations and lack of understanding/recognition from others. It is easy to burnout under that sort of pressure. I find now that slowing down and taking 10 minutes to focus on my breath can help to regulate my nervous system.... so i can focus properly and get things done without feeling the overwhelm. Do you have any routines or practices that you use to help you cope?

Music and nature are life savers at times....I really do hope you can find a way back to enjoying them again.

You sound like a very resourceful person who is willing to take any reasonable paid work, in order to make ends meet. Wish you well getting a job (if that is what you want), and I hope you find a way to connect with the right people who can listen and understand your needs. Getting clear in your mind and picturing how you want your life to be....and then feeling how it feels for you to be living your best life...is very powerful practice. May it be so!

Hi and welcome, @fangorn , it's good to have you here.

I really feel for you. I have been there, completely broken and with no money, for years.

Sending wishes for you that your life will turn around very soon for the better 🤞

@NatureLover

Thank you for your kind words. Would you be able to share some of the strategies you used to get out of that situation?

@OM108

Looking back at it now, the last four years at work have been tremendously stressful for many reasons.

I also think that in general I have been stuck in fight or flight mode, or more recently freeze really, for many years before that.

I have been listening to audiobooks, podcasts, youtube videos on the subject and they have led me to the work of Gabor Mate (the body's natural trauma responses and addiction), Bessel van der Kolk (Yoga, neuro feedback, EMDR, IFS), Peter Levine (Somatic Therapy) and Richard Schwartz (creator of Internal Family Systems IFS).

All these things have led to to a much better understanding of what might be happening and where it came from, and following some of their exercises has really helped me. Knowing that some of the things I am struggling with are normal really help too.

Finding people on the forum helps to feel less isolated and alone.

I have been working in Software Development for the last 8 years, and at the moment I struggle to code. All job applications are for jobs that don't require qualifications or jobs that are in the same field without the focus on coding. More focused on team leadership, project management, business analysis etc.

As a result, tweaking my resume for the jobs I apply for really is like a full time job; very time consuming.

Very disheartening not to hear back from most of them, or to only hear you were not successful.

I also don't get the balance right. Some nights I am working on cover letters until 2AM, because I am desperate. I find it hard to slow down and look after my mental health by walking or meditating, because of financial pressures.

I am in the process of applying for Job Seeker support from Centrelink. The processing of the claim is taking a long time. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources that would be useful in navigating support that might be available through Centrelink? I am finding navigating that maze hard. They expect you to know all the information, but in most cases I cannot find it