cozy_726Senior Contributor
My anxiety and issues
After a lot of thinking, I think my anxiety comes from the stress of expectations from people. Where the greater the expectation, the more stressful it is, such as my dad wanting me to of had finished uni a while ago and to have gotten a full time job by now. Also, like uni, its high risk high reward, so that makes it even more stressful.
On the other hand, if I make expectations for myself, it doesn't matter how hard it is, I can eventually achieve it and it'll be almost stressfree. Like learning how to draw, edit videos, coding etc.
It just feels horrible, I feel trapped by these expectations. I forgot what it was about exactly, but in the past I was threatened with being kicked out by my dad. So with these expectations and the chance of being kicked out still in the back of my mind, its just so much stress. It may be different now, but its just that those what ifs still lurk. Its like work, if you of course don't to a job you can get fired, but the risks are much more with this one, because you can possibly get kicked out of the family and its not like you can go and find another family.
I just feel horrible right now. I just want all of this to stop, I want to do my own thing for once for my own sake not because of others. I don't want to be trapped, I don't want to be forced into something where I can loose everything all because someone said you have to or something.
