HyperballadSenior Contributor
In the wild
Well, I’m just going to write here today after a day feeling like I was running through the forest trying to escape pumas and tigers. I’m sorry I come here mainly when I have difficulties and wish I could give more when things aren’t feeling so rough.
The past week has been a rough one again. I’m hoping for some solid ground to come back rather than this constant sense of threat, fear and anxiety.
So maybe I will use this thread to jot down my thoughts and feelings and experiences and maybe some tools.
Does anyone else have conversations at home alone with other people they know? Like you talk to someone, like your manager or friend, as if they were there. It’s something I’ve done for as long as I can remember. I guess it was a response to loneliness and not having anyone to talk to about things and feeling I could communicate my thoughts etc easier to someone without them being present. Tonight I wondered as well whether I did it as a tool to manage my anxiety and fear - somehow it filled the gap of not having control or being worried about uncertainty. Thinking about how ingrained this is in my life makes me wonder whether I am really quite cooked and too far gone. But maybe it’s something others do as well and we just don’t talk about it because we police ourselves with ideas of normality.
Anyway, taking each day as it comes. I really do hope I make it through this. I promise you
tonight I am playing some soothing music and going to curl up with a pillow. I’m fortunate to enjoy sleep - probably the main way I can escape the world.
