Hi @hzypuff
I am so sorry to read that you are going through such a difficult time. You are not alone in what you are going through. I've been there and I understand how tough this time is.
I was admitted to a psych ward too last year and have had to face a lot of personal embarressment since being discharged. Its been an emotional rollercoaster at times and I can relate to your feeling like a zombie... also, my house is so overly organised that people think I like cleaning, but I just find it difficult to sleep and sit still.
As difficult as it is, try not to let what others think of you become a source of worry and concern, as in the words of Dr Seuss 'Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.' Give yourself a little forgiveness and understanding, you have obviously been through something and are finding your way, nobody else has had your experience.
I found it was this time in recovery to be long and tedious at times and I have been forced to learn how to stop. I have worked full time for most of my life and all of a sudden I have nothing but time at home. It is wonderful to be able to be at home, but time is not a friend during recovery. I learned to remind myself that I had survived all my worst days and this discomfort I am feeling is temporary, and it is a time of repair and change.
Eventually, this time will pass, and people will continue on with their lives, and I've realised, whatever I did will be a distant memory. All I can recommend is to keep busy, I'm finding mindfulness activities helpful, like colouring in and gardening helpful as well as going for walks and visiting friends. I think I have watched every series on Netflix and I have taken naps when possible to help counteract the insomnia.
I really hope you are ok and it is great you reached out on the forum. Don't be embarrassed about your condition, you'd be surprised how many people understand or just genuinely don't care (in a good way).
Please take care of yourself and make sure you reach out on the forum if you need and don't forget services like lifeline if your feeling particularly triggered, sometimes it is just good to have someone give you space to talk and get things out without judgement.
