Poem- deep and raw 🙏

Survival on the edge of death with a smile on my face is a torture I will never forget

I put up a fight the way you wanted me to

Not to save me but to save you

Worried faces looked me in the eyes and I told lies

I did it all to protect you and I don’t know why

You betrayed me in every possible way

Yet I betrayed the ones who cared for me in ugly ways

I felt guilt and shame and disgust every time

Leading me to punish myself

You left me to die and you never wanted to improve my life

You were full of lies

I was a fool to believe you were telling the truth

I trusted you when I should of been trusting the ones who were by my side fighting to keep me alive

While you stayed polluting my mind

The lines were blurred and I was facing the wrong way the whole time

You mislead me into a hell I will spend a long time trying to free myself from

I used to love you now I despise you

You are ingrained in my mind and that makes leaving you difficult

I will try my best to free myself from your toxic chokehold