JessesGalCasual Contributor
TW: Suicide - Supporting myself after a friend made an attempt
Hi Everyone,
Last week a friend made an attempt to end their life. They put me in a situation that I really didn't want to be in - where I had to choose between a friendship that I've had for decades, and my legal requirements to report. I am so angry at them - not for their attempt, but for their seemingly blissful ignorance of the impact that their choices had, and their lack of action. I have known this person since childhood, and I have tried to get them to reach out for support more times than I can remember. I've provided them with phone numbers, I've gone to appointments with them etc, I've sat up for hours on end for countless nights just listening to them and being there for them. It didn't have to reach crisis point, if they had have taken the support that I and so many other people have told them they need. I know I can't make them get help, no matter how much I want to, and maybe they needed this to happen to be a wake up call, but it's just so frustrating that all of this could've been avoided. I'm at the point where I am dreading and avoiding contact with them because I'm wondering what they are going to need from me next? They don't realise that last week, instead of doing the things I needed to do for myself and my family, I was at home making phone calls, and contacting resources, and bawling my eyes out worrying over them. Then again, how would they know, because I've never told them? I'm hiding from them and the whole world at the moment.
I have reached out to all of my supports, I'm prioritising my self-care and I'm doing everything right. I'm just trying to understand what is going on in my own head?
Thanks for reading.
