What is wrong with me?

Hey @Struggling1990

Firstly I want to address real quick that there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are juggling small kids, work, the pressure of modern economic instability and inequality, and a world in which it is often frowned upon to admit vulnerability - feeling overwhelmed seems very valid. You are worthy of happiness and respect just as you are, no matter what.

It's truly very courageous to reach out and admit vulnerability, especially when we have put so much pressure on ourselves to be able to 'do it all'. It doesn't help, either, when we feel as though support (whether physical or emotional) is not forthcoming. May I ask if you enjoy time with friends, your kids, or family?

Do you feel as though you are able to talk to your husband about your mental health distress? I would worry about judgement and a lack of empathy given what you have said about lecturing, but I hope this is an option you have.

No matter what anyone says, I am proud of you for reaching out, for posting as your honest self, and want to say that you deserve kindness and are already someone I look up to from the short amount I've read.

Hey @Struggling1990 welcome to the forums, I'm really glad you found your way here 😊

I hear you feel like you're struggling a lot with the demands of motherhood due to these personal struggles you describe, the procrastination, fleeting motivation, doom scrolling, not taking care of yourself and things as good as you think you should. Can I just say firstly you've got a really hard gig! I have 3 young kids myself and I have absolutely been where you are now, I can relate to everything you've said here. It is not easy at the best of times and we are under so much pressure as mothers to be and do it all and it's really not possible, please be kind to yourself.

Aside from your husband do you have much in the way of a support network? Friends, family or much help with the kids?

it's taken time for me to get better at managing my lot and improving my mental health has been the number one key to it, have you spoken to anyone at all about how you're feeling?

As far as keeping motivated with the kids and around the house one thing that has really helped me is to set small tasks or goals. If you try think about and tackle everything I find it can be too stressful and overwhelming, personally my brain will just want to shut down (procrastinate). So I try to think of very small things I can do to improve my situation. Whether its taking a shower, washing my face, cleaning a bench or organising just a corner of a space. It's a really handy hack because often (not always), I feel so good about the small thing I achieved it makes me end up doing more.

Hope this helps, here to chat or vent if you need

MermaidHair

I second @MermaidHair - small goals and steps are a good way to focus when we feel overwhelmed. I don’t have children so cannot imagine what that would feel like but remember that you’re doing a courageous job.