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Complex trauma; help pls

Ot3Casual Contributor21 Jan 2024, 12:13 pm AEDT

Complex trauma; help pls

Hey guys, first time poster here. I have complex trauma issues and struggle with regulating my emotions and black or white thinking (I will avoid situations that are uncomfortable or throw myself into them and stay in them beyond my comfortable threshold).

I'm struggling to find a new job. I believe I could do any job but I don't have any particular interests that jump out at me. I used to be a music tutor and performing musician but more recently (last 2 years) I've quit music and play and listen as part of self-care. I can't stick around to a job because I have strong black or white emotions that are hard to control

I find it hard to know what I want to do or to trust whether thoughts or feelings I have reflect the world around me because they change with my mood.

I've currently seeing a Schema therapist. I don't feel I can open up as much to friends, as I can in therapy where they will understand my experience because they just give advice that isn't relevant. I don't feel there's any point in talking to friends about it because they offer advice that I've already tried. I can't shake the feelings I have.

I exercise, eat well, sleep well, yet still, something's not right. And I know therapy will help and take a while, but I really feel a need to see results sooner rather than later because it feels like all of this will never end.

Comments, question, advice is welcome. Thanks guys 🙂

4 replies

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In response to: Complex trauma; help pls

tymeModerator21 Jan 2024, 6:02 pm AEDT

Re: Complex trauma; help pls

Hey @Ot3 ,

I'm hearing you. I've also really struggled with black and white thinking. I've battled with understanding myself and others because of black and white thinking. Even now, as much as I've recovered, I feel I live on the extremes of life. It's all or nothing.

Schema therapy is definitely a good start. It helps you analyse the schemas within you to better understand how they developed and how to perhaps change them.

I found mentalisation based therapy super helpful. It was about practising the skill of mentalising in both an individual and group setting.

Good on you for looking after yourself. I'm interested to hear what are the things you have tried.

tyme

In response to: Complex trauma; help pls

NarrawalleeCasual Contributor21 Jan 2024, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Complex trauma; help pls

I hear you. This is such a hard time for you. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for these complex trauma situations. I know this is not what you want to hear but if you can be kind and patient with yourself and somehow allow yourself to take things slowly you will actually make a more long lasting recovery.

Good luck with Schema. It can be a challenging therapy depending on where you are with your trauma. Schema does use Left Brain thinking which is logic and problem solving. Trauma and especially complex trauma involves the Right Brain (area for emotions). Therefore if fear for example, is involved it is very difficult to engage your problem solving skills hence needing to be kind to yourself and not feel like you are failing if you can't apply Schema quickly. You will get there, I promise.

In response to: Re: Complex trauma; help pls

tymeModerator21 Jan 2024, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Complex trauma; help pls

Hey @Narrawallee ,

Welcome to the forums. Good to see you!

In response to: Re: Complex trauma; help pls

tymeModerator21 Jan 2024, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Complex trauma; help pls

@Ot3 @Narrawallee

Feel free to introduce yourself on Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

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