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How to keep going ..... about to collapse

How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Im not sure how I am going to keep going/fuctioning....

I have a week of work left and Im not sure how I will get through it to be honest...workwise I can do it...it's just I have n.o.t.h.i.n.g left in the tank. at. all.

I am schziaffective with bipolar (I have resisted and resisted the bipolar label for so long but I cannot ignore it any longer) and I am coming off an elated episode.....I am still "going" in the sense I cannot stop even though I am absolutly shattered and my mind and body is YELLING at me to stop and slow down...my MI tells me to keep going....keep adding things to the list....keep staying up late....keep taking on responsibilities....keep finding jobs to do.....keep on keeping on......my brain is SO wired at night....

I am so exhausted that I am constantly dizzy and shaky and I feel sick 99% of the time...my heart races and I feel like I need to just collapse.

I am on a lot of psych medications.....but compliance is an issue........saw my pdoc on Tues....he keeps pushing for another mood stabiliser to be added.....we are meeting in 2 weeks to discuss with me going to listen with an open mind and not put walls up. I think Im ready to accept........I just have no fight left.

How do I get to Christmas?? How do I keep it together??? I know there is no magic answer....Im just hoping someone has one anyway....

4 replies

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In response to: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Re: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Hi @Ayesha

The forum is great for asking those questions and just stating what we feel. Its helped me, and I hope you gain from it too.

I have had a lot of issues with spinning thoughts and nervous exhaustion.

The best way I know is to be kind to ourselves. Ease up on expectations, let things run their course and keep going with cat naps.

Gentleigh Bentleigh

In response to: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Re: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Hi @Ayesha

i could be misreading this but it sounds like it has taken some time to get to a point where you are really open to acknowledging that you have a mental illness and it is an illness that requires support and intervention to allow you to live the life you want. That you have been fighting for a long time to manage it on your own and whilst that takes bravery my opinion is that it also takes huge amount of bravery to acknowledge that you need help and accept the help that professionals recommend for your situation whether that be medication or therapy or etc

unfortunately I dont know the magic answer (if there is one) but Appleblossoms recomendation to do some self care seems very sensible, much needed and deserved. sometimes keeping it all together is not an option, its collapsing / admiting our limitations / asking for help / using self care / and taking it day by day...

what do other people think?

In response to: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Re: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Dear Ayesha,

I habe bi-polar disorder and can identify with your "highs" or periods of elevated mood. People have said to me how great, to have all that energy, but it is not like that at all is it? Sometimes you just want to scream because your body is wound up so tightly. You have a compulsion to be on the move and doing things all the time, staying up half the night to finish some "project" even when you are nearly dropping from exhaustion. You talk too much, you ring up people all the time, you find yourself so wired that you KNOW you should slow down but you can't.

In my experience psych medications do work. As you know you may have to wait a few weeks for them to start to work, and then not all medications suit all people so you might have to try several to get the right one (I am on a combination of medications). Listen to what your doctor says - even you have to admit that you are not in the right frame of mind to make decisions at the moment.

What has helped me? Well, obviously medication, especially sleeping medication. It is very important to try to regulate your life so you get up at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time. That is where the sleeping medications come in - you might find yourself taking high doses while the elevated episode lasts.

Try to keep to a routine in your life - focus on breakfast, getting ready for work, your work commitments, trying to distract yourself with quiet activities (going for a walk, watching videos) in the evenings.

The good news is that the elevated mood will pass. In the meantime make sure you do NOT push yourself into any extra/additional activities. Your doctor will be able to help you with medication to get you through this tough time. Yes, I know it is tough, I have been there myself, and there is nothing worse than that feeling of being out of control. But it will pass, and we are all here to support you on the community,

Ellu

In response to: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Re: How to keep going ..... about to collapse

Thanks everyone and apologies it took so long to reply.... I crashed and I crashed hard.

I do know my illness and I know it extremely well it's just I've been resistant to this particular aspect.

I admit I'd LOVE to live in denial unfortunately my illness does not allow me that luxury.

Ellu I really enjoyed your comments and it rang true about wanting to stop but not being able to.

At psychiatrists office now actually to discuss the new med
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