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Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

LostAngelSenior Contributor17 Jan 2024, 9:39 pm AEDT

Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hi Forum Friends Does anyone else feel this way like you feel like when your quote resting that you should be doing more with your day ? is it a sign of depressive symptoms or lonlieness when you feel like this like Im doing the everyday things but that still doesnt seem enough somehow maybe Ive hit a slump after new year its like I keep feeling like theres things I should be doing but of what speciffically Im not quite sure maybe Im not doing enough in my life or like if Im not busy to the point of stress or exhausten well then Im not really achieving something like if im not doing anything worthwhile then Im just I dont know flat,lacking in achievemnt but I should be doing alot shouldnt I ? strange slump Ill call it like my brain needs stimulation or enjoyment I spent some of this afternoon under my doona for comfort to be honest ,am safe just i dont know a little lost for direction I guess ,like theres something seriously wrong if im not constantly on the go doing things is that somehow linked to survival mode or a starnge after affect of ptsd i dont know hope this makes sense to someone thank you

7 replies

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In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

tymeModerator17 Jan 2024, 9:48 pm AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hey, as 'well' as I am, sometimes I get these days too where I feel I just need to be doing more @LostAngel

I'm not sure it means you are depressed, but if this is ongoing, then maybe it's good to speak to a professional.

I found I tend to fluctuate. I have periods where I go go go and then there's times I just slump. I'm not sure it's so much of an issue.

To be honest, you've had so much going on for you lately. Are the renos still happening?

In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

AussieRechargerSenior Contributor18 Jan 2024, 8:50 am AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Maybe you are just looking for a dopamine hit? Try a podcast when resting so you a learning and resting at the same time?

In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor18 Jan 2024, 10:25 am AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hey @LostAngel , I feel somewhat similar at the moment. I'm on leave from work, just got home from overseas and on my own during the day. My work keeps me busy most of the year, and I was 'go-go-go'ing on my trip, so I feel a bit lost about how to occupy myself and quite lonely, too. I've got a total of two weeks at home, until I go back to work. I've been trying to 'allow' myself to not have to accomplish a lot - it's been hard though. I try to fill my day with activities that I enjoy that are productive, like:

reading
playing the piano
listening to music
getting organised for work
(I do have a little bit of work that should be done before I return, which I do at a leisurely pace)
going to the library - both for a change of scenery and to borrow reading material
going for walks
I'm trying to start doing some light weight training as well (starting with 2.5kg dumbbells)

You could also consider exploring a new or existing hobby, even one that you haven't done for a while, that you enjoy. Do you have any ideas?

And then it comes down to being kind to yourself. Have you heard of the idea of 'loving-kindness'? Put into practice, it is the idea that you are gentle with the affirmations you tell yourself. So in your situation, just acknowledge what you have accomplished, perhaps also notice in a gentle way that you hoped to do more but didn't, rather than berating yourself for it. Hope this helps!

In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

AsgardSenior Contributor31 Jan 2024, 10:56 am AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hi @LostAngel

What you say certainly hits home with me. I too seem to go up and down like a yo yo but I find that if I can complete 1 thing every day then thats good. I think society expects us to be dynamic robots always on the go, well we aren't robots we are all different, So go at your own pace.

Wrap around hugs to ye

In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

TilzSenior Contributor31 Jan 2024, 8:35 pm AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

hi @LostAngel , i feel same sometimes. i think that's a sign that body gives like it need rest. just relax for sometime , create something that make you smile like planting some plant or draw something .. And start up a new day . you will feel good for sure. Never keep on thinking about past.

In response to: Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

BlinkFanCasual Contributor05 Feb 2024, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hey Spirit_Healer I go through periods of feeling exactly like this. I work part time and sometimes when work isn't super busy I feel like Im not doing enough and I find it hard to fill up my day with activity. I go on walks/bike rides, do around the house jobs and do hobbies but I often still feel pretty isolated and flat. Things usually improve when work picks up but its not always easy to predict when I will get shifts.

In response to: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Unknown userMember05 Feb 2024, 10:01 pm AEDT

Re: Bored /Lonely/ Feeling I should be doing something but not doing much of anything maybe feeling like an underacheiver at the moomment

Hey there @LostAngel

Im so glad you mentioned this 💜

I do relate to your words, and feel an unrest that won't abate when I am not having to do any work or other activities, and its time available to rest.. the thing is, I cant rest sometimes, and really need to do some positive self-talk around how I would be freely saying to someone that I cared about that a day to rest is totally worth it, they deserve it, and go for it 🙂

I then rationalise that I am free to say the same things apply to me.

However, that doesn't remove the underlying unrest that comes with inactivity/low activity, and I do think it is a byproduct of having high demands of work, relationships, and other systemic strains over the years... my brain is just very used to 'don't-worry-about-you,just-go-go-go' mode. If I am not in go-go mode, I tend to automatically think a bit lesser of myself, like my value drops if I am not being productive or producing something (no matter if its work, cleaning the house, or doing something for someone else), and so its hard to reconcile taking rest time and maintaining my value while not being productive.

I hope that is helpful, to see a different perspective?

If you'd like, I would be really interested in any thoughts 🙂

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