Loneliness

that doesn't make you a bad person @Alice6

It makes you a real human.

A real human needs to feel connected, and know that they belong...

Hey @Alice6 ,

Welcome to the forums. Your story is a story we hear too often. Thank you for braving it to share your story with us. It sounds like you have done what you could as a child, and now, when it's your turn to live life, you are struggling with loneliness.

I can certainly relate to the loneliness you are feeling as well as burning out therapists. I used to feel that too. Therapists seemed to be my only source of interaction and hence I burnt them out. I then had to stand back and remember that they, too, are only human.

Have you considered getting in touch with a different therapist for perhaps an alternative perspective? There are those out there who really want to work long term with people.

At the same time, have you heard of SANE's Guided Service? You can see if you are eligible here: https://www.sane.org/referral

The Guided Service is a free service and provides you with approximately six 1:1 sessions with a counsellor/peer worker.

Please know you are not alone. We are here as a whole community to sit with you. We look forward to hearing from you.

It’s really nice to hear I’m not the only one who has had this experience. I honestly didn’t meant to do this to them. My therapist told me they liked my honesty and that I always told them what I needed directly but I guess it just became too much. I want to try a different therapist but I need someone who can also do daily check ins with me outside of my sessions. I know not all therapists can do that but I think it’s such an important part of my therapy. I’m not sure where to look for this person. I’m so anxious about losing more people.

Hi @Alice6

Those of us who didn't grow up with a secure attachment (anxious attachment here *raises hand*) have to remember, it's not our fault. I too have trouble being self-sufficient and have also had a few psychologists (and specialists!) give up on me too. Everyone has the need to feel significant and like they matter as well as a feeling of connection. It's not a bad thing to want those things and really, as a human, you deserve that. I think the fact that you have recognised these things about yourself means you can begin to work on them. I found this theory really helpful in helping to me understand my needs around this kind of stuff. Have a look at these websites, they may be useful

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/do-you-need-to-feel-significant/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/