Velvet honesty...

@Appleblossom,
Hey. how are you? Reading the part about no win situation was like a lightbulb moment. I'm have spent the evening worrying and upset about everything. Even though this is about me looking after me for once. And you are right, you are doomed if we do and doomed if we don't. And I'm not happy where I am right now, and know that if I continue down this path by myself, it won't improve.

Hi @Mimm,

That sounds like a really difficult situation with upsetting your roommate but also needing to reach out and get all the help you can.

I am glad to hear you are aware of what you need right now. That is really important.

Take care

Lunar

Talk to your friend
She's only angry because she cares
Spend a night with ur mates, or gfs,
Repeat this until you feel whole again
Forums are good but human contact with extremely vital. Ring her tonight, reconnect and remember the time you were happiest
And strive to be that person again

What are ur hobbies

Hobbies make life easier
Family is paramount
Friends
Music
Laughter
Getting outside and just living without a thinking as in safe activities
Meet up groups on google plus is the bees need to feel alivecagain

Sounds like your roommate didn't cope with knowing how you feel. She turned it back on you rather than face face the ugly feelings it raised in her. Reality is you didn't tell her before because you thought it would pass but you did tell her. Like Apple said 'damned if you do damned if you don't' I have found this time and time again, starting with my own mother, so now I don't risk it with people I value in my life at first - I go talk to a counsellor or lifeline, journal journal, pray pray pray - get perspective first. Dying is something our western society just can't handle, let alone the wanting to.
For Christmas, nows the time to list some self care strategies:
- decide if you want to 'boycott' Christmas altogether, just do the basics or try go all out. (I try to boycott but end up in the middle).
- basics first - shelter, food and clothing
- second basics - mind (calmingvthoughts), heart (self compassion), social (reach out twice a week, mix or ring - once for you, once for them), spirit - pray, connect with God or nature.
- grab some frozen nutritious meals so you eat well. Better still, cook some.
list people you can ring for a chat and make a call once a day - even just to briefly exchange the weather (always amazes me how much better I can feel without getting too deep)
- ask someone to meet up for a drink once a week. If no takers, sit in a mall cafe and observe how many people walking by actually do wear or carry Christmas stuff and look happy (we're not alone, just no obvious connection)
- stock up on your fav munchies and DVDs. and hobby stuff to do.
- put a gift for a child under a Christmas charity tree so you know you've done something to contribute to the world

Its hard, people are already asking mW what my plans are for Christmas but MY SON IS MY CHRISTMAS, so I wait to see what he wants to do. Which has left me alone and under sad the last two. So, now, knowing how moping consumes me, now I'm getting a little selfish and planning little budget helps for myself. Like I mentioned above. No malice or judgement etc, just letting all that go, put my self care blinkers on and just get through it. If someone reciprocates your outward efforts with an invitation - run with every opportunity, even if its just to 'make an appearance'
Be well, stay safe xox

@Former-Member, @darrenhayes, @Zuflae, @Former-Member,

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been online for awhile. Been caught up with DBT and my nephews school Christmas concert. I am still unsure about the Christmas/new year admission. However for the current admission - I have decided with my treating team to keep checking in but see if I can last till the end of this years clinical programs. This morning I managed to catch up with my house mate/friend and we had a honest conversation about what is going on, how we are both feeling etc. just wanted to update you guys.