Chronic shame

Your strength and resilience shines through @212 . We are so glad you have found us. Being about to connect with others is so important. For me, I found that the more I reached out to others on the forums here, the stronger and better I felt.

As for working with thoughts, the shame of thoughts etc, for me, it was understanding that thoughts are just that - thoughts. They come and go. In the past, I'd hate myself for thinking a certain way and try to push the thought out. However, the more I pushed the thought, the more the thought grew.

Now, I use the 'sushi train' analogy by Dr Russ Harris. Have a little youtube search. He has quite a lot of analogies that really helped me put my thoughts into perspective.

I'd be interested to hear what you think about the clips

@212 I haven't dealt with psychosis, but have struggled with heavy alcohol use in the past, which left me feeling ashamed, but then also using alcohol to feel less shame and I would just go around in circles with it. I found that stopping drinking significantly improved my mental health BUT it took many stays in rehab and a daily choice to not drink *just for today*. Many many years of hard work. And I am still trying to work on the not trying to feel defective part. I have found having people who truly appreciate me and want the best for me helpful, and to remove myself from people who only keep me in a cycle of using for e.g. "friends" that only want to see you if it involves drinking, and particularly if you're paying. They're not real relationships, I've found the only reason I was friends with certain people was because we had alcoholism in common, but nothing else. How can you feel worthy if you don't have people in your life who remind you that you are? That was my situation at one point. Not sure if that helps..?

I love sushi.

Yes it's a beautiful way of meditation, which I am learning finally.

I know it's thoughts that run away , but just one thought can send my body into a fearful anxious state, my nervous system has been worn down.

I called the sane number today with my heart pounding.

They guided me with breathing first and listened to me jump from topic to topic..I laughed and cried in the same conversation, it's such intense processing.

Thankyou.

Wrote a four page letter to my dead mother , felt so good...then I had compassion come back after a couple of hours and I've calmed down a bit.

Was never allowed to express anger, so there's heaps of it finally coming out

Yea, it does thanks... drinking has made me do some pretty sh*tty stuff to people.

I stopped easily when I rang up someone I really respect and had no memory.

They're new in my life, I want to form a friendship, so it was the final straw, I couldn't handle one more shameful session.

I made an art piece based on the song Social Disaster, which I've always loved.

Itsa payout on alcohol culture which is how the true me really feels. It's all pretty gross

Breathing is another HUGE impactful strategy @212 . If you do it right, it can slow your racing heart right down. The beneficial physiological effects of deep breathing has been largely studied and if done properly, it can take you out of the state of flight/fight.

And yes, I love sushi too - if it weren't so expensive! When I was still at school, sushi rolls used to cost $1.50. Now they cost $4! No wonder people go for cheaper fast food alternatives!

Just looked up the sushi train YouTube. Great analogy! Thanks for sharing @tyme