what do you do???

my wife of only a couple of years is displaying worrying and heartbreaking signs - and I have no idea what is happening...her sadness which was a common thing as in every couple of months has in the last 6-7 months morphed into a weekly occurance...she becomes unable to do anything and just wants to stay in bed and cry, she doesnt engage with anyone or even go to work. She tells me to listen and I try, but I just hear the same things and nothing ever changes. She hates aspect of her life and yet seems to want to wallow in the sadness than try to do anything about it..I just sit there and try to listen but invariably it doesnt matter eventually it will become I am a complete b$%^ard or its all my fault or I don't listen and she is in this predicament because I asked her to marry me. She lives in this town because this is where I am based (although she was moving before we were officially together) which is often overlooked. I am the worst husband EVER and whilst I never pretend to be any good at much, I do try and I try to do as much as I can around the house whilst also holding down a full time job..the other night she had an episode where she struck me in the face and put her fist through the wall, in the process, she split my lip and I just walked away as I know its not her...the next day she was crying and really apologetic and wishing I wasn't around to be subjected to this. She wanted me to find someone who could help her so we went to a counsellor once that week..she never showed up to the second app't and this morning she tells me its a waste of time and she isnt going again even though I want to go to try to work out what I am supposed to be doing.
Its another bad 5 days at the moment...I sat downstairs last night when she had gone to bed and she told me to turn down the volume on the TV and stop speaking to her or else she would put her fist through the TV. She often gets angry and then it just becomes really personnel towards me...She would happily call me everything the sun, and she knows that I don't like it when she does that but she thinks its the only way to get a reaction from me as I keep trying to not react..I admit at the start I used to be a typical guy and if there was a problem I would just want to fix it, to make it go away..thats something a counsellor I was speaking too from Mens Helpline told me to stop doing as it was making things far worse..so now I dont do that but I have no idea what else I am supposed to do..It destroys me watching this happen to the woman I love and I go to work days like today fearful of what I will come home to..I rang her 4-5 times today as she wouldnt answer her phone...with all things that have been said and the frequency of these topics of how conversation and how she would often wish she wasnt alive anymore I am scared of what I can do...I cant say anything and I know that as I am not professional and the day she hit me I said I am not putting up with this sort of behaviour and then she took that to mean that I was leaving her and it was all so convenient for me to take the easy option...that wasnt what I meant but I HATE that she refuses to admit things are wrong, seek help and in one of these phases I cant get a word out of her let alone anything other than a sneer or an abusive comment to get away from her....I sometimes think she would prefer it if I left her, or I would just let her go....last week we had some money saved up and we bought a trip to Europe hoping that would give her something to look forward too and yet as soon as its 24 hrs old its almost forgotten...and two days later she is just bed-ridden and sad again..
what does a husband do? how can you help her to reach her own conclusions about needing help when my fear is she doesnt want to change anything...