Access to grandchildren denied

Welcome, @Pipsky ...I am so sorry to hear this 😢

Do you have any supports in place for yourself?

Hi @Pipsky, Thanks for reaching out 😊

How horrible for you and your grandchildren to have to go through that regularly for the past 9 years when it's so important for them to be able to have a stable and meaningful relationship with you.

I really feel for you, my parents have also had to go through the pain of having their access denied to their grandchildren due to my ex-partner's controlling behaviour.

I'm also wondering like @NatureLover has asked, do you have any supports available to you?

I know a little bit, from my parents and my own experiences, about grandparents' rights and access to their grandchildren if you'd like to have a chat about it?

I've had access denied to my nieces for over a decade @Pipsky. I realised my brother discriminates against me and more than likely my nieces are the same. I lost contact with my brother 30 years ago after I was diagnosed. I'm happy not knowing my nieces as my family of origin has been abusive and can only possibly accept the same from them. I don't get upset over it anymore recognising they simply don't care about me. I would focus on your "chosen family" by mixing with friends and associates you'd rather be with than your blood relatives. Sometimes wishing and hoping can be a lost cause. I do understand your heart breaks but why put up with this emotional abuse and inconsistent behaviour? At some stage you have to get on with living which is what I've done. I'm sorry this has happened to you but please recognise the situation for what it is.

Welcome to the forums @Pipsky

Tough situation for you, your time is precious. We have quick facts here... Families, friends & carers (sane.org) That may be useful to you. I feel for you, you matter too.

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I have thought many times about cutting ties and getting on with my own life without family. If it wasn't for the children I would have done this years ago. I wanted to give them good memories of childhood spent with their grandparents and I have done that. From here on in, now I have taken a stand, I'll leave it up to them if they contact us in the future.

I am sorry for your predicament but so pleased you have found peace in your own way.

Thank you for your support. Yes, I do have other family members who can see for themselves what is happening but we all have our hands tied. There really is not much any one can do.

I have been in counselling on and off for 5 years and it does help while it is available but that's not always the case. My most recent counsellor has been brilliant and we were hoping to move our sessions to monthly but at the moment I feel I need more than that, it's not always available.

Thank you for your feedback - it means a lot. It is horrible, not just for me but for the grandchildren. They struggle too and that's why I'm still hanging in after all these years. It most be incredible confusing for them. I've given up trying to make sense of any of it.

From what I have researched, grandparents do not have a great deal of rights so would love to hear if you have something useful for me.

At the moment, I am relying on my son to do the right thing, as he said he would and he is at the moment bringing the youngest to visit a couple of times a week. He has also organised counselling for himself and his wife, so who knows? Perhaps things will improve.