Hi @bluesandyellows welcome, and sorry to hear you’re weighed down by these feelings at the moment.
I feel somewhat similar from an anxiety standpoint, the indecisiveness and self-doubt can get so bad I’ll struggle to type and then read and re-read what I’ve written. Withdrawing and feeling guilty about the situation is also a familiar feeling, but ruminating is a downward spiral and it’s best to replace that activity with things that will be upwards spirals.
One of the techniques for dealing with anxiety is to sit and watch the feelings, not fighting them just observing, and knowing that they are feelings and will eventually pass. By practicing self-compassion, kindness, forgiving yourself for having a low point and being patient, your mood will improve. Fighting on the other hand is exhausting, so avoid forcing things. It’s OK to do nothing if you’re exhausted but your goal should be to rest and then do something small. Setting realistic goals and ticking them off is also an upwards spiral.
When you can, do some self-care activities like walking, getting some sunlight each day, and being in nature.
For me, a bushwalk is really grounding… just seeing the bush and knowing it has existed for thousands of years and just patiently sits there doing its thing each day.
I usually pressure myself for not achieving enough things fast enough and the “rat race” mentality gets knocked down a few pegs when I see the success of unlimited patience in nature. The trees are not expecting to be fully grown by tomorrow, the birds are not expecting to raise their babies by this afternoon, etc. Likewise, we can work on ourselves over a longer timescale and our patience will be rewarded.