Why am I like this

Hey there @Lostlady ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums and thank you for posting. Let's just say that it doesn't sound like you are simply feeling sorry for yourself.

Rather, it sounds like a ditch many of us have found ourselves in at one point or another. This can take away your passion, your energy, your zest for like. It's like this sudden change out of the blue.

I know I have certainly felt this in the past. It was this anxiety that stopped me from socialising and being around people. Over time, I slowly withdrew myself and stayed in bed more and more.

For me, it was the beginning of depression.

I'm not saying you have depression or anxiety, but if it continues for longer that a few weeks, and for not apparent reason, it's good to see your GP. Have a chat to them about what's been going on for you and the change you are experiencing.

Please don't leave it too long as it might make it harder to 'get out of'.

Please take care and reach out here. There are many who have been through something similar.

You are not alone 🙂

Hi @Lostlady I'm WAY oversimplifying things but it sounds among other things like you've psyched yourself out. Feeling self-conscious and second-guessing how you should act leads to an awkwardness that makes social faux-pas more likely. Rinse and repeat, that alone can form a downward cycle. We also tend to be more critical of ourselves than others are of us. Quite possible nobody else has noticed much of a change, especially if they haven't said anything to you about it.

I usually do pretty well in a group where the conversation is just happening and I don't have to contribute. Everyone else just natters away and I can say as little or as much as I like. Recently though I do feel in a bit of a funk somewhat similar to you.. it feels like I've forgotten how to socialise and interact with others. Kinda weird. The last few years have been very weird for all of us though.

As for being embarrassed about your life.. that almost sounds like you're holding yourself to the values of other people. It's your life, live it how you want to. Making mistakes and changing direction are all part of that, just try to learn from mistakes and avoid repeating them. Sometimes mistakes become funny stories once enough time has passed!!