I struggle with the feeling I could be paranoia

I don't know if it is actually happening or I am actually paranoid.

But I feel that people mess with me to trigger behaviours that are not favourable.

For example.... My mum triggers the feeling of being told what to do . Which gets me agitated. I wonder if it's my weird mental health issues or it's purposely done to peeve Me off.

But it is a huge deal for me most times when she may just her just suggesting or something. But it makes me feel extremely defensive.

2.

My daughter asked a reasonable thing yesterday which was to delay our visit by 30min. Well this is a normal simple non offensive request in which would not normally affect anyone. But yet...it did for me yesterday which was also fuelled by my mother telling me we should just go there at anytime before the requested time. 🤦🫣.

I guess both my mum and myself are irrational and around the bend so to speak.

My daughter doesn't visit a lot or invite me to her place much.. but when it does happen it is "always" on a schedule with a particular time in which she has to leave or end the visit. Which makes me feel tense and clock watching.

It's never spare of the moment or spontaneous etc. I feel she is just slotting me in to her busy life. It's not enjoyable. During recent times this occurs is to do with her 1 yr sons needing a nap or something regarding his care. I totally get that. But it uses to happen before the grandson was born too. So im feeling rushed during our visit all the time ..not enjoyable and relaxing..

Like I need to book in a set amount of hours to make enough time allocated to our catch up time. ..

So yesterday... I was to pick up my mum and take her up with me. My daughter asked us to come from 11 am . So I left home at enough time to collect my mum and stop at bakery also on the way . But my daughter messaged me to delay visit and not to come till 11.30.

This is a reasonable request normally but to Me for some yesterday made me a agitated. And then it got out of hand.

The catch up was cancelled by me because by the time I got there I was really quite annoyed and had my mother telling me we should just arrive when we please..

😳🤦. And I didn't want to make the visit a horrible one because I was quite worked up and couldn't calm down.😳🫣.

Most times I can accept it and follow the request but yesterday was definitely not one of those days.

Anyhow I know I over reacted big time.

I pissed my daughter off majorly. I regret big time 😭 I didn't see my grandson etc.

• So the question... paranoia etc is there.!???..is my daughter a bit controlling and same with my mum and her purposely antagonising the situation to mess things up ?

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