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Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Hi, I’m not sure where to start. I had a mental health care plan earlier this year but used all my sessions by March. My mental health and mood feels really low right now but I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford more psych sessions.

I’m a single mum to a 4 year old and 7 year old. I’ve been trying to rebuild my life for 2.5 years since being forced to leave an emotionally abusive marriage where infidelity/sex addiction was a constant ongoing issue. People laugh and scoff about it. My marriage ending was treated like scandalous gossip but it ruined my life, it changed everything for my children. People don’t understand how painful it is to go through a betrayal like that.

When I was married I was a stay at home mum, I had a nice life. My ex husband is a well paid lawyer .
It’s been almost 3 years since the marriage ended. Now I work full time at a job I hate and parent solo 70%. I’m struggling financially and stuck in the rental crisis. I’m Unable to get a mortgage despite having sizeable house deposit/savings.
My life feels miserable, like I’m stuck on a hamster wheel. By the time I get home I Only see my kids for 1.5hrs before it’s bed time. Everything is rushed.

There is no quality time with them. A miserable life for them too just having a mother that’s constantly stressed and depressed.

My ex husband still lives in the $2mil family home we shared. He paid me out some money but not enough for me to buy somewhere to live. I know money isn’t everything, I don’t want money, I just want an opportunity to have stable housing for my kids. the kids and I have moved 4 times in 3years.
All I do is work, it’s so much stupid stress and still I’m getting nowhere. I don’t want to jump on the “blame capitalism” bandwagon but I don’t know how I can improve my life or my housing situation when I’m already working a full time job. Feels like society is broken.

I’m so miserably unhappy, I have no time for a real life. I have no time for friends or any hobbies or anything enjoyable. My kids deserve a better mum. I can’t be the mum they deserve, I’m constantly tired.

Once I drop my kids off to school in the morning I cry in my car on the drive to work, I pull it together for the day then I cry on the drive home, I pull it together for the kids for a couple of hours and then I cry myself to sleep. I can’t stop, it’s pathetic.

I called a counselling crisis helpline but they just told me to join this forum. I feel like there’s no solution.

I know I have to stay here because my kids need me. I love them. But it feels cruel having to live through a life that makes me so unhappy.

Sorry I’ve rambled so much. That’s my story. I don’t know what to do from here.

4 replies

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In response to: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Hi @MG_bp2, Welcome to the forums!

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling with your mental health and this has been going on for a while now. You and your kids deserve to have a good life. You have shown a lot of courage reaching out for supports.

I have sent you an email with some services that could provide immediate support if you need it, and some other suggestions. Please check the email and let us know if you are safe tonight.

In response to: Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Thank you. I am okay and safe. No plans to act on any thoughts. The same thoughts have been with me for 2.5 years and I am used to their ebbs and flows.
Thanks

In response to: Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

hi @MG_bp2

I'm sorry to hear of your trying time. I can relate to alot of what you've shared as my life at the moment bears some of the same features.

To be short changed of time, money, and spirit is like climbing a mountain with no oxygen. And the ensuing inertia is equally deflating...

Keep reaching out. And hold on. You've come this far, and it sounds like you're quite aware of the ebbs and flows that come your way.

And if you like, SANE has a pretty OK phone service. And a guided service, too, which is a sequence of follow up consults tailored to you...

Take care @MG_bp2 Wishing you well 🙏

In response to: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

Re: Single parenting, working, depression and bipolar2

That is a tough situation and I truly hope that you come through this quicker than you imagine and that you find your good place again soon.

Capitalism isn't a humane system & the world can seem like a very oppressive place as capitalism comes to the pointy end of near collapse.

With big world problems coming across our news feeds or social media daily I spend as little time reading news or scrolling on social media and that helps my mental health a lot, giving up Twitter was a real relief.

If you can find a psychologist who you gel well with they can really make a difference and talking with others who are sharing similar issues in forums like this can be reassuring.

Good luck, hang in there and try not to beat yourself up, you are trying so hard for your children and should be proud of that.

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