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Insomnia

boofheadCasual Contributor01 Sept 2023, 5:18 pm AEST

Insomnia

I have been struggling with insomnia for my whole life. over the past 10 years i have come to the conclusion it is because of BPD and the thoughts of abbandonment and loss i have. I have alwasy stayed up thinkign about loved ones dying, my pets dying, losing the use of my arms so i cannot play music anymore, sometimes i imagine way worse stuff i dont even want to type. Recently My insomnia has gotten so bad icant get to sleep till 5 30 in the morning. I just lay there meditating but invitably i start getting angry and panicked until i have an anxiety attack after this i am tired and can sleep again. I only end up with about 4 hours sleep. I tried taking about 8 melatonins the other night and it did nothing, i dont want to take medication. Has anyone here experienced similar levels of insomnia?

3 replies

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In response to: Insomnia

tymeModerator01 Sept 2023, 5:37 pm AEST

Re: Insomnia

Hey there @boofhead !

Welcome to my previous world. Insomnia? Yes! BPD? Yes!

I stayed awake for days. I don't even remember what I thought about but for days I'd roll around trying to sleep. I had sleep hygiene training, medication, therapy, but it didn't work. The less sleep I got, the more frustrated I got and it didn't help my BPD.

It came to the point where one day my psychologist said, "You didn't sleep? That's okay. You'll make it up another day." This helped me realise that it really WAS okay. From then, I took my regular anti-anxiety meds (which help with sleep), and I stopped worrying I wasn't sleeping. And the meds now made a difference!

So I realised that the more I worried about not sleeping, the more I didn't sleep and the anxiety and stress grew.

Bottom line - practice some self-compassion. Don't beat yourself up over not sleeping.

As for the BPD, I'm in a much better place. With routine (including food and sleep) and predictability in my life, things have just gone onwards and upwards.

Just hang in there @boofhead - it's worth it!

In response to: Insomnia

DimitySenior Contributor01 Sept 2023, 7:55 pm AEST

Re: Insomnia

Hi @boofhead

It sounds hard to be struggling so much and for so long with grief and catastrophising. My sleep patterns aren't ideal either... my anxiety doesn't help. I can understand your reluctance to take medication but perhaps talking to a counsellor or psychologist could be good. Your gp might be able to refer you, or maybe there's a community centre.

I've sorry you've experienced so many losses of loved ones and pets. I'm glad you've reached out here, and I hope you find support and friendship.

Take care

Dimity

In response to: Insomnia

NatureLoverSenior Contributor02 Sept 2023, 10:30 am AEST

Re: Insomnia

So sorry to hear about your awful insomnia @boofhead 😞

I can't cope with insomnia myself. Sending wishes that yours eases... 🤞

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