LostBeeNew Contributor
Could it be psychosis?
So I did some training earlier this week that made me realise that a lot of the things I've been contributing to my anxiety might not be explained by just that. And I think I knew that a bit, I don't talk about them and I've only told one phycologist a little about it. I mentioned that when I get very anxious I feel like there's bugs in my arms and I have some scars from trying to scratch them out in the past. She then asked a question around psychosis and I desmissed it by says I know it's just the nerves in my arms but that's hard to remember when having a panic attack. That was a couple of months ago and I didn't really think about it again until the training this week, it had a section on supporting people who are pre-psychosis and experiencing psychosis. When my anxiety gets bad I have trouble driving by myself because I keep thinking that other cars are following me and at night I have trouble convincing myself that there isn't anyone in the back seat so I have to keep checking. I also see little shadow creatures out of the corner of my eye a lot, in the past I've just dismissed that as something that happens to everyone but probably not as much as it happens to me. After writing all that down I feel like it's obvious that I should actually look into getting support and that's what I'd encourage someone who told me something similar to do. I just feel like I'm overthinking it, "it's just anxiety" or "that happens to everyone and you're just trying to be special" or "you're making this bigger than it is"
I know I should mention it to my psychologist. I've already used 5 of my appointments for this year so only have 5 left and I don't know if my current psychologist has experience with psychosis so I'm unsure how helpful she'll be with such limited appointments. I know that my mental health is currently declining and I was already worrying about what I was going to do once I ran out of Medicare rebate appointments, I can afford the gap but I don't think I'll be about to afford the full cost more once in a month or two. I've seen quite a few mental health professionals over the years but the only one that was helpful was one I saw each week for like 8 months. I don't have the option of going back to that service as I'm no longer youth.
I just don't know what to do and feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.