Chelsea10Casual Contributor
Eating and depression
TW: Food Intake
Hi,
I’m new to the forum and have never tried anything like this before. I have had many mental health plans, taken different doses of medication, have seen a number of psychologists and yet the issue persists… I have had depression for almost 15 years, I think I am chemically imbalanced because I don’t have any major traumas, just mental illness in some of my extended family.
Like many, I am a functioning person with mental illness and most would not know my struggles. I hide my illness from most because people who do not go through it or other mental health issues don’t generally understand. My partner is lovely and understanding but because he has never experienced it I feel like he cannot possibly understand that I struggle to get through each day. He is a go getter and I want so badly to be successful but my depression affects every facet of my life so I feel like I’m constantly trying to keep pace with others to the detriment of my own health. I feel like a total fake, pretending I’m a functioning person and as soon as my partner goes away and I don’t have to pretend anymore I just spiral. Today was one of those days…
The house is not organised, I did not go to university which is a degree I’ve been studying for 13 years because of mental illness and I’ve consumed so much unnecessary food. I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. It takes so much more for me to keep on top of everything and I get so tired, mentally not physically. Any advice for helping not turn to damaging vices to help mental illness? Particularly food. I feel like it’s a vicious cycle, I turn to food for mental illness and the food fuels my mental illness further with feelings of guilt and self loathing. Thanks!