How do I get the strength to move out and start a life of my own?

Hi @Wolfies,

Seems like your parents expect a lot from you. But it also seems to me that you are also clear about how you feel about this and what you want. To answer your question: What I want to know is how can I take the first steps to get the hell out of here?

Some steps you could take is looking up website on share accomodation where other people are looking for housemates. Some things to consider for share housing is:

- how much rent you want to pay (remember utilities as well, and bond).

- What type of people you want to live with? Typically, you will need to go and inspect a room and meet your housemates. This is a good opportunity to interview them too. Remember, if you're going to be living with othe people, it helps if they are a good fit to your personality, and lifestyle.

- What area would you prefer to live in?

If you're wanting your own place, check out rentals online, and go visit a real estate agent in neighbourhoods that you want to live in.

I've provided practical information about how to start the process of finding a place. Is that what you were wanting? I imagine that taking the plunge might also seem daunting particularly with your parent's expectations.

CB

@CherryBomb

Thank-you so much for writing to me!

I have thought about moving to University for a shared accomodation sort of thing with roomies, so that the rent isn't bad, I'm not entirely alone, and I could perhaps make new friends which I could keep or the rest of my life. To experience is the idea.

Those are some great questions I could ask myself before looking for somewhere to stay. Specifically, somewhere near Uni would be great. It takes me hours enough as it is to travel to and from Uni, and it can be stressful.

It is quite daunting, but I've reached the age where I should be thinking seriously about the possibility. It would be foolish of me to ignore it... as this is the next phase of my life.

Hi @Wolfies,

I think living in student accommodation might be a fabulous experience for you. It seems like the sooner you break out on your own the better. It does appear your parents are holding you back. I have a son your age who is studying and living overseas in student accommodation and it has been life changing for him. Before that he struggled with social anxiety and he was acting like my carer which for me I didn't want him to waste his youth looking after me as there was no need to. I'm really proud of him and pleased it has turned out well. I think the only way to combat naivety is to experience life and learn by trial and error. Don't be tainted by the world is a scary place, it can be but doesn't have to be. I think if you are going to move into student accommodation it would be good to look at your finances and get a realistic idea of what the cost of living and quality of living would be but the other thing I would do is make some safety plans/rules for yourself about how to stay safe as well. Maybe your parents will see that perhaps you are not so naive and you will have guidelines to keep you safe. I'm thinking here about how you travel after dark and looking after yourself when out not accepting drinks you didn't order etc. There is so much in this world I think you could find enjoyment with and you seem to have so much potential to do things that would give you fulfillment. best of luck with this