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Something’s not right

I don’t know what to do anymore

I don’t know what to do anymore

For 20 years I’ve lived with my Bi Polar 1 disorder

cycles all over the place, meds and therapy. I’ve had it all on track and loved the best I could until this last year. I was made redundant after 10 years, moved to Australia 4 years ago, all my family except teenager live 13k miles away, I have always tried to help those who are just starting their mental health journey but lately I feel like a stepping stool or therapist. Some “friends” call me 3-5 times a day over things like a text message, email or playing the “what if game”

they have therapist(s) , meds and coping mechanisms but have decided my life is part of it. I get no real time without feeling like a bad guy for not wanting to hang out because they have no one else. I’ve had so much stress from “home” on top of trying to get another job, raise a teenager, my own mental health issues. Another “friend” who I have been friends with for 30 years, living with my parents to help them help her accidentally butt dialed me while venting to some guy who has never met me and did nothing but talk crap about me helping her.
I’m over people, their problems and no one asking me if I’m ok, because at this point no coping skill I have is helping and less people I can talk to. (I draw, music, clean, I have dogs, I try) I don’t know what else to do. I’m expecting real stress for the first time. I get dizzy and sick and my physical and mental well-being are dwindling. I refuse to take steps backwards in my mental health journey but I just can’t people any more. Any advice?

3 replies

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In response to: I don’t know what to do anymore

Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

@Redgummybear

I am glad you do music, draw and love dogs. Its great you have looked out for other people. It seems to be a very needy world. All the prosperity is not making people happier. Its confronting to overhear someone complain about oneself. I have also been in the role of supporting others to the point of exhaustion, overwhelm and stress. Hearing you about the dizziness. Sounds like you need to listen to your inner being crying out for a few less people demands upon you. Then the isolation factor can get bad, but try and find level where you know which people are taking more than they are giving ... weary sigh ... how on earth can we really know that. I am struggling to make these decisions too.

In response to: Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

@Appleblossom @I appreciate the response and I’m not alone in trying to help others. I can be a soundboard all day but I can’t keep trying to fix people. I do need to just tell people no. I like my isolation I just never get any and it’s overwhelmingly frustrating. Sadly I loved lockdowns.
I am just going to focus on my house (daily cleaning and staying on top of messes) and my new job. I need a little more stability and wait to see the Psych.

thanks again, keep your head up. We can only do what’s in front of us and only control what is controllable.

In response to: Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

Re: I don’t know what to do anymore

Very true @Redgummybear

Practical home and work focus sounds good with a little space for the inner work with therapist ...

I am in the middle of changing therapists. Trying a new one tmrw.

Take Care

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