Who to contact in Victoria for non-emergency help?

Hi @down_not_out 🙂

I want to say thank you for sharing this with us. I acknowledge that what you're experiencing is extremely difficult. Thank you for reaching out for support, you deserve to feel and be better 💛

What you have gone through is not okay.

There are some support services that I would like to share:

• Counselling & Support - Centre Against Sexual Assault — Central Victoria (casacv.org.au) are open during business hours (Mon to Fri, 9am-5pm).
• Free help, referrals & counselling for men: MensLine Australia have the option of chat & phone counselling
• SANE drop-in services are staffed by qualified team of counsellors and people with lived experience of mental health issues who will provide you with free digital and telehealth support, information and referrals.’ --- Click here for more info if you would like to have a look -- https://www.sane.org/referral
• Have you ever contacted 1800RESPECT? You can also get in touch with 1800RESPECT if you would like to chat to someone about the abuse you have experienced.

Are there some ways you can go gentle with yourself over the week?

Sitting with you 💛

Sending lots of gentle light,

fluffylight

Hi @fluffylight

Thank you so much for the kind words and support.

The incident happened 10 years ago and was the catalyst for the breakdown of my marriage and the loss of my house and career. I never spoke about it with my ex-partner and chose to destroy myself with prescription meds. I've recently ceased the meds, with support from my GP.

I have the loving support of my current partner and feel safe as long as I do not venture out of the house.

At the end of last year, I saw a new psychiatrist and spoke about what happened in a broad sense. The Dr was able to obtain my history and I felt as though I was being heard. I told her that it was acceptable to remain objective about my situation as we had just met. I've worked in MH before but am not good at advocating for myself.

She suggested that I visit a local men's shed but I am not comfortable doing that. I was bullied in a blue-collar setting so that is a big nope for me.

Minimizing the experience has been a coping mechanism for me. If only I had spoken up about it earlier...

@fluffylight @NatureLover @Appleblossom

It is Monday morning now and I still can't bring myself to call someone about this subject.

I don't know if what I am dealing with is PTSD because it happened so long ago. Even though it leads to several attempts to exit this world, which is lead to where I am today. I don't want to go down the path of self-diagnosis.

Stopping my medication was the best thing I ever did but it has 'awoken' my brain again to unpleasant memories. Sometimes I will cry in the shower and after that, I will be okay. Honestly, I can say that I do not feel depressed (been clinical before).

I'm scared that talking about what happened will flattern me like nothing else.

Sometimes I want to write it down and just show it to my psychiatrist so that I don't have to explain it. I'm a fairly analytical person, so this seems to be the best approach.

This situation feels like my fault because I did not speak up about it.

Sorry, I am rambling a bit now.

@down_not_out

From the little I gather from your posts. The trauma situation was serious and significant. Not your fault. Often people are silenced for various reasons.

Congrats for getting off clon... a huge achievement. Try and find other ways of managing discomfort as your brain recovers natural facility.

Deflect inner voices that are unhelpful. Look online for methods... eg Shrink your inner ciritc ... cbt...

Getting help is not as easy as it sounds, so I understand your reluctance. Also your reluctance to dive into unpleasant memories.

Talking about things does raise the memories and feelings. Absolutley it is fine to be general about thiings until some rapport is established. It is a necessary coping mechanism and way of still maintaining one's truth.

Writing about it can be something you do in your own privacy and then have it to reflect on later. There are different ways to approach it. Write about the past events .... also write about the present jumble of feelings ... Try narrative in sequential time ... and poetic or rap ... approaches ... We need to be in a fairly secure place to process things. The deep dive is not always the best unless circumstances are right.

Working in mental health probably also gives insight into some of the limits of the system.

Have you continued with that psychiatrist, you mentioned?

I found my local men's shed's chiefs a bitter bossy cynical man. Some people get away with a lot in the community. @down_not_out Sorry you had blue collar bullying ...

@Appleblossom

I was employed in public so yeah, it gives you a bit of an insight. Good and bad people in all walks of life I guess. This was after the hospital trauma and I wanted to try and help people who were unwell. Shoulda got my house in order first.

Blue-collar abuse is something that we have not dealt with enough, IMO. It can be brutal to the extreme. If/when I get better, I want to work in advocacy for apprentices.

The psychiatrist I disclosed information to was an in-patient doc and very supportive but I did not feel a real connection with them.

After writing what I did this morning, I had to go and take a shower because I was freaking out a bit. I'm getting better but feel my protective layer is made out of paper mache. It looks structural but is easily broken.

@down_not_out

That menshed fellow has kept me from going to the men's shed, tho I do love the concept. When my son was dubious about even trying, I had to face the fact, that he would encounter abuse like I did, and he was not in a position to roll with it and leave like I could.

What is a strong man ... such a big question ... in this day and age ..... like other questions.

Being in public MH. would be an eye opener and also retriggering. The house in order ... metaphor is helpful ... but not always ... I see it can also move to excessive minimalism ... and being judgy about superficial things. In human terms ... our souls ... or inner beings ... whatever you want to call it ... are shifting and not solid like houses and stuff.... the issues will shift ... as we pass through the life cycle.

Sorry you are fragile. I can strongly relate to the issues of exposing the pain... and managing to wrap ourselves up again ... in order to function .... wry smile at your paper mache metaphor ... mine is more about fabric .... and rocks ... caves ... and being between a rock and hard place ... or being cushioned.

If you could have been referred then and it all been taken up properly, you may have been a long way forward now. Tbh ... the lack of follow up in the MH system is PROBLEMATIC and traumatising. I have seen it damage my loved ones.

I feel it is deliberately geared for stop gap crisis ... with little attention to real healing .... it should not even be a distinnction between public and private systems ....similar probs in education ... weary sigh.

Find your own rhthyms with dealing with it. I have to. Its possible, but tricky. I have to keep myself safe for my offspring. Journal Journal Journal. Look around for supports ... but that intself can be overwhelming ... I tend to settle to easily in accepting low grade supports. I feel my skills and tendency to people please is used by them a bit ... and they are getting paid! So gradually I am feeling in a position to be more choosy.

I am careful with prn use, and have recently achieved low doses, but not prepared to go med free ... atm ... cos my trauma ... triggers are still a little unpredictable. I am also not prepared to return to high doses. Simply rather not be here... in a final cost benefit analysis. So I keep a bit of wriggle room now that I can ... to cope.

Good luck with your journey. Find some private therapists. It is possible to manage without private health insurance but have to be canny. Happy to talk... the community here is pretty good.

@fluffylight @Appleblossom

Hi there.

I didn't have a really good night last night. It seems as if my mood is cycling a fair bit. From elation (not mania) to having a small cry. The sadness passes reasonably quickly and I still honestly do not feel depressed. The majority of the time I feel level.

It is very hard to tell what is protracted w/d from the ben*os and what is underlying.

I was initially diagnosed with bipolar II in 2013 but I was on a plethora of strong prescription meds and had just had a nervous breakdown from workplace bullying.

It was my first time seeing a psychiatrist and the diagnosis was made in an hour after matching with the DSM.

Also, I didn't mention before that I had a nasty car accident at age 14 that resulted in a very mild ABI. My personality changed (according to close mates) and I became quite impulsive and reckless.

So there are a few factors at play here.

I got about 3 hours of sleep and had a night terror. But I got up and took a shower and had brekkie with my wife before she went to work. I only go to bed at night to sleep.

I've made a telehealth appointment with my GP on Friday. I trust this person with my life and have known them for 10 years, but I clamp up when discussing things.

Sorry for the long reply. And thanks for asking.

@Appleblossom @fluffylight

Please talk to me anytime you want. I'm quite isolated sitting here all day.

I'm just not good at initiating conversation at the moment.