IhatesproutsCasual Contributor
Has anyone here ever broken ties with a parent?
Hello - this is my first post.
I’m late 50’s and although personally I suffer from military PTSD, depression and anxiety, I’m doing OK having taken advantage of many workshops, programs and therapy sessions over many years. Yes, I do have the occasional ‘wobble’ in my mental Health but with continued psychology sessions, I now have a good understanding of why, what and how to deal with my triggers.
However, very recently I’ve been dealing with a traumatic family incident which has upset me very much. I don’t want to describe the incident here but can assure you that non of it was physical or sexual abuse. However it was very much verbal and psychological abuse directed at me and I just cannot continue to allow this behaviour to continue against me.
I have had several conversations with my psychologist and after much soul searching and flashbacks to incidents throughout my life, we have come to the conclusion that he is probably bi-polar and has narcissistic tendencies. I have decided that I can no longer ‘tread on eggshells’ when speaking or dealing with him for the sake of my own mental health. Therefore, I need to break my relationship with him and am receiving professional help in doing this. The first thing is to journal things and then write a letter to him.
I will never forget him as a parent - he brought me up and did his best which is all any child can ask. However, the difference is that he sees any form of mental illness as a weakness and will not seek help himself.
So my question to this forum is as follows: Is there anyone else here who has in fact broken ties with a parent and if so, what repercussions did you experience as a result of that?
The reason I am asking is to have an idea of what to expect so that I am prepared. I have no other siblings and he has re-married since my mother’s death. I am confident in ignoring any comments from other people known to us both - I am confident and happy with my decision and others can make their own minds up as it simply isn’t their business. As a narcissist, he is likely to blame me and describe his own behaviour as perfect anyhow. I have never heard him apologise either.
So, if anyone here has broken ties with a parent, I would appreciate knowing of any repercussions that you may have experienced since - be it guilt, regret or even happiness.
I should also mention that he lives abroad and is now too elderly to travel, so the opportunity for me to make the break is very strong. Thank you in advance.
