Mild rant.

I have been meaning to write this thread for some days now, and I can’t bring myself to do it…

Not because I have something hard to say, because I’m too tired LOL.

I spoke to my psychologist, and said that I had a relapse. She acknowledged that it happens. Interestingly, she said “and you’re going to have a few more relapses. But you have to ask yourself the question, do you need alcohol in your life? Otherwise, you’re going to have a lot of relapses.”

Uh, what? A FEW relapses? That’s a little worrying.

She said that it’s best if I quit completely. I still don’t know about that. She asked me why I like alcohol, and I’ll be honest, it’s a tough question to answer! I wasn’t very convincing. Basically, though, alcohol is everywhere anyway and I feel like it would be more productive to learn how to control it than trying to resist it.

I also said that my family was considering getting me into an arranged marriage, and that I felt it was a failure. She encouraged me to embrace it.

She said that the only difference between an arranged marriage and a love marriage is the way you meet, and there’s a lot more to a relationship than the way you meet. She said “someone you know setting you up with a mutual friend, you could call that an arranged marriage.” I said that I wanted a relationship and arranged or not, it’s fallen right in my lap.

UHHH… I don’t know how to explain this, but it seems like I shouldn’t have to explain it. Arranged marriage is simply not the same. It’s asking people to make a permanent commitment to each other hoping it works out. Chucking you in the deep end and hoping you and your wife can swim, and will eventually get used to it, or “grow to love each other”. It’s not romantic, it’s not beautiful or exciting at all. And it would not have been a problem if I was able to find someone myself.

I said that seeing couples everywhere drives me crazy, knowing that none of them have had to deal with this. She said that yes, it’s painful, but a lot of people have something like that. And that’s 100% true. Some people can’t have a baby, and going outside and watching mothers with their kids makes them angry enough to melt the world. Some people have a permanent injury and wish they could do what they wanted to from a physical point of view. Some people are held in custody for years, for something they didn’t do. Everyone’s got something, where they wish it was different.

Unfortunately, we ran out of time to discuss it further, but next time I’d love to discuss how to make it easier… I mean is there any excitement in life, or is it all just a matter of “you just do what you’ve gotta do and hope it’s alright”?

Yay, can’t wait for that! Another challenge!