Depression/ Anxiety /feel Ive been scammed by someone leading a double life

the pain is unbelieveable for one thing Ill name the red flags, told me he lives in miami however discovered he lives in United kigdom and under a differnt name, his daughter isnt the age he told me, hes suposed sister that he told me was his sister is really his partner,and his suposed neices as he said to me are really his step daughters ,a love scam and Ive sent him money cause of sob stories from him that I believed,I dont know what else to say heart broken,angry ,sad,betrayed depressed It turns out it was all too good to be true but I fell for him,fell for the lies ,now I have to let go of all the attachment I had to his allias its difficult ,its disgusting

sorry for so much posting tonight I just really need to get this stuff out somehere , any advice or kindness would be so appreciated , where are good men who dont treat women like a cah cow or a punching bag ?

*Cash Cow

I am so so so sorry to hear this has happened. You are definitely not the first. I've had it happen to me, and I remember the devastation when I found out.

I reported mine to the bank, as well as to https://www.cyber.gov.au/report-and-recover/report

The reason I reported it was so that other innocent individuals wouldn't be targeted. However, there are just so many of them out there.

My heart goes out to you.

For me, I never allowed myself to hate the person. Instead, I felt sorry for him that he went to such extremes.

I realised that if I had hatred in my heart for him, it would only fester, and I'd feel worse. So me not feeling hatred and anger towards him was NOT for his sake, but for mine.

It's also made me wiser where I've learnt, "NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN". This is the first time I have ever shared this with anyone. I was so ashamed of myself - an educated, hard working, intelligent person scammed by someone overseas.

You are not alone @LostAngel . I hear you.

@LostAngel

I've not a lot useful to contribute, but there are some awful people out there!

Sending hugs and thinking of you

thank you Both , the main thing I keep feeling is waves of anger waves of sadness ,depression although today is slightly better,as Im choosing to turn my phone off rather than respond to his messages from today ,Am resting and kind of quietly thinking through a stratedy of confronting him but in such a way that shows my good character and doesnt drag me down into that scope of wanting to seek revenge ,Im trying to plan what I want to say to the person about it and even though i know full well this person doesnt probly give a dam about what theyve done to me in the emotional sense I still feel the need to put the evidence Ive found on him to him maybe its my way of having a sense of clousre with all this situation, I realise that as soon as I confront about it he will most likely cut all contact with me and find the next woman to get money from for his lavish lifestyle but I defintely will be reporting this ,and making it known who he really is online in some capacity to warn others ,Im not sure that Ill be able to do enough to scare him into remorse but I can hopefully prevent furture victums from falling prey to his tactics,Ive been talking to beyound blue and 1800 respect and theyve really given me someone I acn talk to about this without my family knowing , I have survived physical and bad tretment in person from last relationshiop before this so I am a surviver, trying to tell myself its not my fault,Ive showered today and although cause of the stress I dont feel like eating ,Ive forced myself to just eat a little today ,am resting and trying to focus on myself things like looking for jobs or volunteer work I could do or something social,I really just feel the need for quietness and reflection so maybe going to a library and quietly reading books for a while or going for a nice walk outdoors might help a little even just colouring books and keep Journaling how I feel, just the simple things to get through these early days,Ill keep writting on these forums as much as I need to to get it all out my system ,thank you for just being here to listen,I do appreciate the care being shown , this stuff shouldnt happen to anyone we all deserve to feel loved

Thank you so much tyme I feel better knowing its reported now

Feeling a heightened sense of Anxiety but things have taken a 180 turn in as many days,I confronted him about it and his given me reasons which I believe are true that is that we all do have past relationships and types of people who want to upturn things,in this case hes explained without going into too much detail that a disgruntled former partner is the real Hacker/Scammer in this situation, and I honestly believe him wether thats for better or worse will be my doing,its my choice that I believe him with what hes explained I can understand that people on here may disagree with me believing what hes said ect but I guess its now a mater between just me and him and our indivual pasts and personal issues ,ect hes never lied to me so I dont want to be allowing myself to think that hes lieing now ,noones that good at lieing about specific details of their lives not in that much of a lengthy detail anyway Im just anxcious in general over how our relationship has been impacted by all this,and wonder wether Im extremely paronid due to too many acculating stresses at the same time

Cumulative stress might indeed be a factor @LostAngel, sounds like you've got a lot going on right now. You're right tho, it is your choice on what you will choose to believe, and how you will respond to things.

With your anxiety, how do you usually tend to manage it? Have you been able to chat to someone (friend/family/therapist) about what's been going on?