Pain & Spasms

Sorry I dont want to harp on this. Im really struggling with the pain, Ive taken my normal pain medication and the last of my breakthrough medication and I am still in a lot of pain. I am shuffling around the house, though I am limiting how much I move around in general, its just so painful. Im in so much pain that I cant even eat.

The spasms are just as big of a problem though. Typically they are limited to when I am laying down but in the last 48hours they have become more and more common when I am upright. I tried to lay down a little while ago and I couldnt stay still for a minute. My left leg, lumbar, shoulders and neck are primarily affected. When I say spasm, sometimes it is that momentary tensing of the muscle, sometimes it tenses and just kinda stays rock hard for a bit.

Im having trouble getting to sleep, sometimes Im unable to sleep at all. I cant sit still, I cant get comfortable. The spasms have been going on for the past few months and just getting worse. They are often very intense causing a lot of pain, often increasing the pain I am in normally. Sometimes the spasms cause my arm to thrash about.

Ive raised the spasms with my pain specialist however he has so far refrained from treating the spasms in any way. Im about to try and go to sleep, I have my doubts that Ill succeed. Given how often I am having spasms and what I am expecting when I go to bed, I am pretty tempted to go to ER. There has to be something they can do to calm them down.

Im really stuggling mentally with the pain and the spasms, I was getting better finally and then all the sudden the pain returned and the spasms got worse. I dont know how to deal with it anymore, Im not coping, I want it to be over, I dont care how, it just needs to stop. My family dont seem to care, they dont seem to appreciate what Im going through. They barely even acknowledge that I have an issue. I feel so alone. Im so depressed and so miserable. Im safe, I just want it to stop.