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I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

DorkypaganNew Contributor15 July 2023, 7:18 pm AEST

I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

I have a lot of trauma from my family.
Quick back story my parents abandoned me when I married my now husband. This was after 17years of abuse.

It’s been 8years since I saw them and it was my wedding day. My father sat staring at the bush in crappy bbq clothes, I walked myself down the isle then after the ceremony my father stormed out and my mother and siblings came up to me and I asked where he was going and the only words my mother said to me “your lucky we are here at all” fast forward and I let my little sister back in my life 2 years ago thinking she had changed coz she made me believe she had.

well after she got information she showed her true colours again I tried to contact her and be there and she ignored me and posted constantly on social media my bio family. Every time I saw it I was triggered. My heart is breaking coz I made the decision to remove her from my life again.

im now broken hearted and feel a hole where I thought I had fixed it. And I’m re living all the trauma from them all over again. I have no family of my own except my kids and husband and his family.

3 replies

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In response to: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

JynxModerator15 July 2023, 8:45 pm AEST

Re: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

Hey @Dorkypagan I'm sorry to hear that you have been treated this way by your family. It can be so hard to make the decision to go no contact, and then to open up again only to end up finding out that things haven't really changed - that's hard. I think it reflects on your openness and kindness to have given her that chance though. Perhaps she has been trying really hard to change, but then slipped into old patterns of behaviour - and maybe down the track you could try again.

It's hard to have all this family history, it can haunt us sometimes. Have you ever sought therapy or mental health support to help you work through and process your past traumas?

In response to: Re: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

DorkypaganNew Contributor15 July 2023, 10:30 pm AEST

Re: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

She definitely didn’t change she just lied to me. Told me the things I wanted to hear.

I have in the past seen a psychiatrist and psychologist.
I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 and bpd last year after I discovered my “father” has bipolar 2.

I struggle a lot with trauma and hoping to see a new psych on the next coming months for help.

In response to: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

SnowieSenior Contributor18 July 2023, 11:12 am AEST

Re: I’m not okay. Long winded sorry.

Hi @Dorkypagan

Nice to meet you.

It sounds like you do have a supportive family in your husband and kids, which I am glad you have got.

Have you had any more luck into getting in to see a psychologist?

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