I want it all, and I WANT IT NOW!

You can look from the outside and see other people's relationships as looking perfect - but it is just a snapshot in time - they could be pretending that things are fine, or even if things are great one moment, they could be disasterous the next. I don't believe that you just find someone you love and it will all be ok. Every relationship has it's ups and downs. Every relationship need both people to put an effort into caring for each other so both feel valued in the relationship. Any relationship can fail.

You are not any less valuable just because someone hasn't chosen you yet to be in a romantic relationship.

Good luck with your future relationships

Hi @florencefifty

I have been following your posts for a while - still - I don't really know you - however - I felt the need to reply to your post.

Arranged marriages are not a "thing" in Western Cultures - so I guess you are between cultures and need to make a decision yourself about going along with it or breaking with your traditions - neither will be easy - I am sorry to say - but what should you do? Alas - I can't answer that - neither seems easy to me. It has to be your choice.

Looking at other people's relationships isn't a good idea - well - the thing is that life is made up with all sorts of bitznpiecez you can't - nobody can - know about - so let that go - happiness is a chancy thing and sorrow always around somewhere. No one knows when or what or how things will happen - and to whom or why. So - if you can - let that idea go.

I do know that getting everything now is a demand that is unwise. The French say "Be careful what you pray for because you just might get it". I have had a long life with many different experiences and know getting everything at once would mean having your worse day, your best day, your most exciting experience and your most disastrous mistake all at once. Man - this would be terrible. I don't need to tell you about my life but I have had some incredibly wonderful things happen - and a disaster or three - like most people - spacing such events out is a life better lived.

I do hear you though - you feel the need for your own family and regret living this long without any romance - aw dear - alas - you are still young - it will either happen for you or it won't. One thing is sure - it will be a surprise you are unlikely to see coming. It's worth keeping your choices for yourself to make and taking advantage of a likely possibility.

I'm sorry this is so hard for you - I have had two long term relationships and both failed - I am happy in my own skin though and consider all things in my past learning experiences. I wish the same outcome for you - that life is to be lived and we learn - and I am sure you will.

And no one knows how long they will live - I lost a cousin when she was two days old - many of my relations have lived into their 90s - we need to live each day as if it were our last and it's true that there are times in our lives that need to be endured - others of course - are celebrations.

Don't despair and fear not - it's true - what will be will be - which does sound trite -

Your own culture has limits on the way we live in Australia - you need to make decisions about that - and no one can advise you on what that means. All my grandparents and my father were migrants - British - so the culture wasn't hard to challenge - but there were challenges. And time - my childhood in post-war Australian austerity was a lot different to the childhood children have today - so challenges - yes - different but there - all the time.

I wish you the best - I do care and I do understand your dilemma - it's tough for you. And a kiss is a kiss is a kiss and it's over - I am sure you haven't missed much yet.

Best of luck with all of that

Owlunar