[…] frustrated. (Alliteration LOL). TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE.

I don’t feel right.

Last night, I mentioned that something bad happened at work. I might as well say it generally.

A client’s lawyer called up and said the client is suicidal and is threatening to take her own life unless we can help her, because there was a house riding on it; she has a settlement on Monday.

The guy next to me took the call and then he transferred it to the woman behind me, who’s been working at the company for 10 years.

Both of them were focused on helping with the issue. However, if someone told me that, I’m not taking the business side of the call any further, I’m going to say “[…] that, get this woman to a hospital.” Or at least ask more about what she said/whether she has plans and means.

They talked about how silly it was that they had to go through so many steps to resolve her enquiry, but that’s not the point. People have to take some sort of responsibility for getting help if they’re feeling suicidal, it’s not up to a […] finance company to prevent a suicide. The rules around mortgages made it a bit harder to solve her enquiry, but it’s not up to lawmakers either.

I mean it’s worth noting that the client didn’t say it, it came from the client’s lawyer, but still. In the end, it was resolved and I hope the client is OK, but it’s just not acceptable behaviour on the part of the lawyer. I’m annoyed that my co-workers did accept it.

If you’re feeling suicidal, for whatever reason, seek support and medical attention first, as soon as possible, before working on the financial investigation that’s made you feel that way… and don’t put that in the goddamn client services officer’s head.

I’ve had some high-stress calls before, but nothing like that. And don’t think I haven’t gone through, I’ve been very suicidal before. The experience has made me a little nervous for when I start on the phones myself.

And it’s still a LOOONNNGGGG way from when I get paid. Two more weeks and two days. I was looking forward to getting my own money, now I’m just plain annoyed. It’s Saturday night and no-one’s at home, and I can’t afford to do much…

I know it’s something I am going to have to be careful of, though, because when I do get my own money, I’m able to afford alcohol again and that’s definitely dangerous. I saw this on a documentary talking about an NFL player who had several issues, but when he got a multi-million dollar contract, he had no trouble affording alcohol, and he ramped it up to take his mind off his childhood.

I just want the waiting over and done with, though, like come on… the joy of getting paid monthly. I wish it was like the NFL and they pay you a signing bonus when you first start.

Both of those issues are bugging me right now, but I just wanted to share it and try and enjoy my night as much as possible.