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Stress creating depressing thoughts

Stress creating depressing thoughts

I'm looking for advice, tips, and perhaps some empathy if you've been through this 🙂 please feel free to share.

So, I started a new job on contract in a field that I'm fairly new to and have been studying over the last 3 yrs. I have some experience doing this work on my own but it's the first time I'm working with a contract employer.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and really stressed out handling the new joinee nerves. I've sensed the following symptoms flaring up and I'm feeling so run down, discouraged, and kinda depressed 🫥

- I'm anxious around my colleagues, trying too hard (and worried they can see it!). Social anxiety maybe

- I'm in training and development stage which I knew about but didn't mentally prepare myself for. I'm finding it hard to be a "newbie" and soak in the feedback. I'm blaming myself for not being "good enough" and needing so much feedback. This is creating worry that I'm not good at this job, I don't have what it takes etc!! I know these thoughts are unhelpful but there's a part of me that believes it so it's hard to shake!!

- The job is on contract so it doesn't have a clear structure like a 9-5 job. I'm struggling to organise myself and tell them I am available on these days, these timings. Because, I'm worried if there are Jobs that come up outside these hours, I'll miss them and therefore miss the opportunity to earn.

- I don't have a full time job at the moment, so I'm pressuring myself to keep all slots open and take in as much work as it comes - I wonder if a lot of entrepreneurs go through this as there's no guarantee of how much work can come on a certain day, but mentally we're still all in.

- I'm stressed out and keep blaming myself for not being capable of handling life instead of being kind to myself and looking at it as it's ok to be stressed, what can we take action to improve it - Very harsh critic inside just doesn't shut up.

- I feel like TODOS are mounting up in work, study, business, home, relationships and ending up feeling like more of an unorganised person.

- I'm in a job that requires caring for others. I love the role and want to be good at it, but I feel worried that if I'm not feeling up to it, I have to quit this and I don't know what else I'd do for work if not this. I've already switched careers and industries twice and it's very draining.

The critic is so harsh inside and the thoughts are really draining, I don't want to write some of these thoughts here as it can trigger ppl and I don't want to burden others with these thoughts. I feel guilty to share all this with people as I feel how can I feel better at the expense of affecting someone else who'll listen to all this and then I transfer my low vibe to them.

I've reached out to a counsellor but it's hard to feel hopeful right now. I know that these thoughts are untrue but there are so many of them that I'm tired to even challenge them.

I've been practising noticing the thoughts about future or rumination and coming back to present whatever I'm doing, keeping myself busy, and remembering it's not me, it's the crazy situation that I'm in!

Please wish me well as I recover from this stress, is it perfectionism perhaps? I don't know...

I don't know if I should start antidepressants.. what do they mainly help with? Will these thoughts triggered by stress still be there even on meds or do they reduce - because I'm already taking counseling so I want to know if I need the meds too.

Thank you for your input and any and all tips you can share.

Lots of love to this community x

5 replies

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In response to: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Hey @Shasan ,

Sounds like there's a lot going on for you!

It is understandable you may be feeling like a bundle of nerves right now. It's hard in any job you first start. How long have you been in training, and how long do they think training will go for?

With anti-depressants, it's best to speak to your GP. For me, I had depression for a long time. It wasn't just because of a situation or anything. It was a deep long lasting sadness. Hence I started with antidepressants. Also, I tried many before I got to the 'right' one for me. It took about 6 weeks in get into my system..... but it's taking years to get off!

Then again, is it more attributed to anxiety, rather than depression? These are all questions you can speak to a professional about.

All the best.

Once again, it's so great to have you here with us after a quite a long time.

In response to: Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Hi @tyme

Thank you for taking time out to respond. The training has just started and it's on the job. I think the supervision will go on for a year or more, as the training continues with each task I do x 5 or 6 times.

They haven't confirmed how much exactly adding to the uncertainty - they just said we'll let you know when you're good to go on your own with that task - they're wanting to support me with different situations and I get that. But it's so draining as they haven't told me how to do my best and give feedback that's impossible to have learnt from some guidelines earlier so that I can at least attempt to have done it on my own.

In that sense it's training but they can't feedback at the same time!!!!

It's frustrating. But everyone has gone through this process not just me. It is what it is and it pays peanuts right now so it's demotivating too.

Thanks for sharing your experience with antidepressants - I'm happy to hear that you're off them now!! What an achievement. So proud of you. I didn't know they take that long to get off the system, must be hard not knowing when it'll be fully out.

Yes, anxiety is present too. Heaps of cognitive distortions adding to the stress. I'm so lost where to start from.

Thank you for being here though.

Gp s are great but many times they've told me read up beyond blue and decide if you need the meds, we can't diagnose! What the ??

In response to: Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Oh dear... I hope GPs can help for than that!

Do you have a mental health plan? Part of this is completing the K10 questionnaire to determine how level of psychological distress. It looks like this https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/k10.pdf

If you have been feeling low for a long time and even when there isn't a reason for it, it may be time to speak to your GP about medication.

However, if you are feeling low and anxious because of the particular situation, and this low feeling lifts, then you may be better off trying other strategies before meds.

Remember, meds have side effects. As much as more and more people are taking them, it really depends on whether YOU need them. It's probably good to get another advice (instead of going to beyond blue to self diagnose!).

Hope that helps.

In response to: Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

@tyme good morning my friend!! Thank you for your kind attention and concern to sit with me as I navigate this phase - you're a blessing!!

I love how you have described the differentiation with situations needing meds/no meds. It makes perfect sense to me now. Thank you.

I felt better as soon as I booked an appointment with my counsellor, even better after talking to her, and fully fine after a couple of days of taking a break from all the "thinking" ie., A rest from topics of work, business, future worries, past rumination.

Turns out I was excessively stressed, stretching myself too thin emotionally and mentally. Zero compassion for being in a new job and having to process a lot of new stuff in general, and no boundaries especially with thoughts - so I haven't been "switching off" from work thoughts for months now and they'd become very intrusive.

Also I should've reached out to her earlier as the thoughts started getting distressing with multiple cognitive distortions.. I think I felt very drained and discouraged by this point and couldn't make simple decisions. But it's less depression-induced lack of interest, more burnout- induced mental fatigue I think.

I'm so grateful for all the support I had during this stressful time. Need to go back to stress management 101.

- Boundaries not just physical but mentally and emotionally.

- Trying to work from outside the house like a library so I have a home/work separation as much as possible.

- Thought check-in as soon as I feel a bit drained/low to identify and remember negative thoughts are not facts!! Worrying solves nothing, and present is precious because this is where all the choices are made and I need a good headspace to do that!

- Noticing when I'm tired, accepting it.

- Writing all of my to-do on a list and prioritise them (just sharing if it helps anyone else):

> Urgent/Important - Do it now

> Not urgent/Important - Plan it

> Urgent/ Not important - Do or delegate

> Not urgent/not important - Drop it!!

This activity helped me so much and I did it with my partner as I had 50+ stuff on my list across home, relationship, work & health!!! But it felt so good to put them all out even the tiniest of things that would keep coming up as - oh I need to do this, or that.

Taking a break from the thoughts, accepting that they're here but I don't need to believe them or act on them was a huge turning point! Plus, talking to the counsellor who reminded me how hard I've worked to get here, and I'm brand new at this job so all the additional Press to be good at it is way too much!!

I'm carefully watching for any I am not... Thoughts. They are the energy drainers.

Thank you my friend once again for being there for me!! I don't know how to let you know how grateful I am. Especially for helping me with your input on when meds are best vs not.

My situation is definitely stressful, and without enough self-care, and awareness about negative thoughts, I seem to be burning out easily.

In response to: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Re: Stress creating depressing thoughts

Hi @Shasan

Gosh, sounds like there's a lot going on right now. It must be really tough for you. I'm sorry to hear that 😥

It's so hard to know if you need medication. I hope you can come to a clear decision on that real soon.

Sending warmes wishes

Hanami

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