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Dealing with a difficult colleague

MDTSenior Contributor20 June 2023, 4:06 pm AEST

Dealing with a difficult colleague

Something has got me up in a twist.

So in my team at work things are fine. no dramas.

But in the other team that works on the other side of the floor, there is one guy who comes along every now and then and cracks jokes about me. It's weird. Maybe I'm taking it too personally, but I feel like he is not a nice person to me because I've done something wrong.

For example, last week he came along gave everyone a number randomly and then said that he had ranked everyone in order of who he likes. I was the last in the mix. He said it jokingly of course but I had no idea why.

Then a few weeks back he said "hey <name of our section> team friends, and Hams" - implying that I wasn't included in that.

I dunno what he is trying to do or achieve by it. It's weird.

I would reallyy like to tell his guy to bugger off - or something stronger. It's a stressful role already and i don't need that crap in my work day.

I think it's immaturity or jealousy maybe idk?

I know there is a lot of gossip in that other team. I've made a point of never gossiping. I always keep an open mind and i know for a fact (including this guy I am refering to) that everyone has their own reasons (whether they know it or not) for what they say and do. I am one of them too.

Maybe I am overthinking it a bit too much?

13 replies

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In response to: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Unknown userMember20 June 2023, 5:49 pm AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Hi @MDT

What a horrible situation to be in. Simply horrible.

I do say it is amazing there is always one bad egg in the bunch.

I have been on your end.

I used to explain to others, whenever you see a schoolyard scene, the bully has all the people around them, andvtge victim rarely has anyone. Many see it but do not want to be next.

Don't ever wrestle with pigs because you both end up in the mess, but the pig enjoys it.

Stay true to yiurself.

Do not fuel the fire.

Hopefully someone will support you. Doubtful they will because they do not want to be next.

I still say. Stand strong. It will hurt. Strong people do hurt.

But stay true to your values.

You sound very caring.

We cannot change others. We can only change the way we respond.

Hopefully ignoring it, they will find someone else. If so, you may have a mate.

Do not take it personally. They need someone to pick on.

Hold your tongue. That is powerful.

Do not react externally.

And look after your mind internally. These people know how to harm others.

Vent on this forum.

I have lived your story for a very long time.

In response to: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Unknown userMember20 June 2023, 6:35 pm AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Hi @MDT

Further to earlier reply and l am sure you thought about it, what is the protocol in reporting the situation?

Stay true to yourself.

We cannot defeat evil with evil.

Everyone has to see how good you are

In response to: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Little_LeopardSenior Contributor20 June 2023, 9:34 pm AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Hey @MDT Sounds like workplace bullying. Your not over reacting at all.

These kind nasty people try to get away with their behaviour by saying it’s a joke or being flippant. Doesn’t change anything only difference is that they are cowards because they can’t even be upfront.

You are well within your rights to report this person if you wish. But be prepared for them to deny of say it was a joke.

If you can pull them up and say “it’s not funny, dont do it again” and then that way they can no longer use the “it’s a joke excuse” and if they mock you for standing up for yourself or say something like “can’t you take a joke” then that’s just more workplace bullying and even more proof that they are a bully when you make a report.

what do you think?

oh and let me tell you something weird. When I was in year ten there was this nasty guy who use to throw rocks at me and yell rude things to me when I walked past. One day I confronted him when he started randomly chatting to me. He was so surprised when I pulled him up and seemed clueless to his own behaviour. He actually admitted that the truth was that he has a crush on me. Lol. So weird. Was so shocked I couldn’t believe him for ages. Was a funny memory to laugh at.

In response to: Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Unknown userMember20 June 2023, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Hi @Little_Leopard

Love your input to @MDT

Did you date the bully and straighten him out.

I had a great laugh. So funny.

Great story before l go to bed.

In response to: Dealing with a difficult colleague

outlanderSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 12:47 am AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

sounds like workplace bullying @MDT
i wouldnt stand for it in my workplace. ive been a team leader here for the last year and if i found out any of my staff were playing any form of workplace bullying i wouldnt be tolerating it.

bullying is the one thing i get angry over and not many see that side to me. next time it happens i would be saying something to them. stand up for yourself, bring it up with work collegues see what they say. if it continues after saying something go to your manager. most workplaces do not tolerate bullying.

if your not up for that, try and find ways that it doesnt bother you. if you get along with everyone else then thats what really matters.

dont let the worker (i cant think of other words to use but i wont!) ruin what youve worked towards accomplishing.

In response to: Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Little_LeopardSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 7:10 am AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

@Former-Member lol. Nope, I never dated him. Was not interested. But he did ask me out a couple of times after that conversation. At least he started pursuing me in a more appropriate manner lol. We were always friendly to each other after the that, and he never remitted back to his old ways so they story had a good ending.

In response to: Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 8:10 am AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Hi @Little_Leopard

This is a memorable story.

I love your approach.

Love it.

Also the change in him.

Good on you!

there is hope

In response to: Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

MDTSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 10:17 am AEST

Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Well said @outlander
Thanks for your insight. I think the HR department at my work as lazy as. Ultimately I think guy is just being immature. I need to be honest with myself and I realised this morning that the ultimate reason I get bugged out by it is because I'm only willing to accept myself in my workplace if others accept me. This guy being a dope yo me makes me unconsciously think that I am unaccepted by the group. Well so I need to accept myself regardless of the external. I also gotta see it as work - it's good to have good relations with colleagues. This is very very helpful. But in the end it's just a workplace. Not there to be friends. If it is workplace bullying then I'll keep an eye on it. I think escalating it to managers is warranted when the need arises. Like if it spreads for example and others do it. This guy is just immature. When I see him one on one usually I can just chat about random stuff. He mentioned he went camping and so I was talking about that last time. I think I'm just very sensitive to my performance in work and I don't need to be - I've got good feedback. There is a lot of gossip. Maybe I've been the subject of it. So be it. I'm taking a higher path. Screw them. Show them up with kindness lol. Hope you're well these days @outlander

In response to: Re: Dealing with a difficult colleague

Little_LeopardSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 8:51 pm AEST