Is This A Step Backwards For Lived Experiance Voices?

I watched a film last night, @chibam. It was called I, Daniel and documented a short journey through the lives of two people interacting with a Centrelink-type organization in Newcastle-upon-Tyne—applicable in any country. I watched as it depicted my own complaints about these departments—the indifference to the effects on people's lives, health, relationships, futures, the time wasting and costs to the individuals and governments... It left me drained emotionally. I didn't read the credits but glimpsed a line or two that suggested it may have been a true story. If not, it was a true depiction of how lives are wasted.

Perhaps they should make one on the mental health system, the medical system, the education system, the political system, the banking system, the legal system, the prison system...

I don't have any fight left in me, @chibam. I hope you're doing alright.

I'm lost @Historylover . Lost, tired, and irritable. I think I may have fouled up yesterday. Acted a bit pushy towards people in authority, regarding something that, by now, I should have learned to be patient with. I have such trouble spotting the boundaries between what is fair and what is indecent, when it comes to how others treat me. Revelations like what I read yesterday has got me a bit paranoid, I think, in terms of the powers-that-be being on a quest to sweep me and my perspective under the rug.

I'm sure there's some element of truth to it, but I'm probably exaggerating the extent of the conspiracy, in my own mind.

I just don't know how to see the future now, with this latest development. Is there any hope that things will get better? Or has the been taken away now? Was it never really there to begin with?

I feel like one of those movie characters who is lost in the dessert; exhausted, dying of thirst. They rejoice upon spotting an oasis in the haze ahead, only to quickly discover it was all just a mirage.

That's me. The promises of hope ahead don't seem to have any substance anymore. My eyes say there might be a brighter future ahead. But my mind cautions me against getting my hopes up. It's probably just another mirage.

Thank you for sharing those links. @chibam It is important to know.

Making the best of a bad deal ... digging deep into my own resources ... is my strategy I guess.

Take Care both of you .... @Historylover

I'm hearing that you are afraid that all of this mess will be swept under the rug—is that what you're saying, and you feel that it will be lost if you don't keep fighting for it to correct?

@chibam, I don't know what to say. You are right in everything you say but any change in the system will be such a long time coming, and even longer in coming to any particular person, that we all have to realize that the ball is in our own court.

@chibam, what are you doing to better your situation yourself? I'm not speaking with any authority here as, as you know, my situation is a mess. However, I try to make my situation the best it can be, every day. I don't know how long I can continue on this quest of self-improvement, but it is rewarding; I can lose myself in it and forget my problems for a while. The thought of mixing with people is not pleasing to me, at the moment. Where does one find kindred, non-exploitative spirits in the real world?

I, too, want to know who will help me? I love helping others, but none in the real world will help me. They are all exploitative predators and I don't know how to change people. I was told that I can't change people, I can only change myself. I've done that and my situation remains the same. I know I am the best person I can be, but why isn't that enough?

@chibam, my friend, don't wait for change, we have to make our own. What can you do for yourself that will start you on a better, more hopeful path?

There's nothing that can be done, @Historylover . Much like you, I need to be united with my true family, and until the system sets up a program to perform this function, I am at a loss for what more can be done.

I have worn myself down to the bone trying to appease others; to ingratiate myself with them. I've distorted my image terribly trying to do so. But because I've never been able to figure out what they want, I've never been able to satisfy them. And in any event, every step you take down that road feels more wrong and self-defeating then the last. You start to become the sort of person who disgusts you, trying to appease them.

I've reached the limits of trying to figure out what I can do to get out of this nightmare. Some prison cells are just too ingeniously built to be broken out of from the inside, even by an ingenious prisoner, which I am certainly not anyway. Release can only come from those on the outside.

@chibam, you're going to be peeved, and possibly disillusioned with me for saying this, but you're looking for 'family' in all the wrong places.

As I've just alluded to in a post to @Appleblossom—we all already have a family and a tribe of our own, but our relationships are all alienated, scattered, disowned and fragmented. As a result, we have no sense of belonging, cohesion—no safe haven. We will never replace our sense of belonging (to our birth tribe) with a sense of belonging anywhere else. When we try to fit in with other substitute families, we give them power over us. They will never let us in—and, to be honest, I don't want in. I prefer my own family's quirks. Modern society has broken our family ties and we are all the poorer for it. Family is KING! We just all have to learn to get along and to respect each other—to share a common purpose.

@chibam, I acknowledge that your situation may not be suited to the above...you may not have a tribe/relatives nearby, and as an only child (?) may not have family nearby. If so, I apologize, but I just wish people realized the value of family and the importance of working through family problems which, in many instances, are based on misunderstandings. It all just makes me sad because so many people are suffering and lost.❣️

@Historylover, I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree in that regard. My experiance has lead me to believe that it is only a very minute portion of the population who are fortunate enough to be born into their proper families. The rest of us have to hope to be gathered up into their company.

Well, it's more complicated then that, but I don't really feel like going in to one of my lengthy posts ATM. It's been a long day.

In terms of giving others power over us, that's not inherantly a bad thing; in fact, it can be quite wonderful. The trick is, insuring that it's the right 'master' who gets control; one who's aspirations are in-line with your own.

I've come to understand that I'm not an emperor at heart; I'm a peasant, a dutiful servant, when I'm at my best. That's not a shameful or pitiful thing. There is a sort of goodness in serving with honor. A lot of great stories have heroes who are humble peasants.

I had responded to your post where you were upset that you may have 'fouled up'. Well, @chibam, now I have overstepped and I'm upset. I guess your situation upsets me and I'm trying to find the magic potion to fix things for you. Sorry.

No, please don't be upset, @Historylover . No offense was taken. 🙂🤗

I'm truly grateful that you want to find "the magic potion" to fix things for me, and I'm sorry if I reacted to your well-wishes poorly. As I mentioned, yesterday was a long & busy day, so I may have been a bit blunt with you. Sorry about that.