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Why should I believe the blurb on this site that there are others like me, when I've never met one, and never will? Who else never experienced a mother or father? Never experienced peers or friendship, only isolation? Who else failed to express anything much in childhood because they were comprehensively ignored? Rarely spoken to, never enquired of? Denied their humanity? Any other non-humans out there? Come on SANE, where exactly are the others like me to be found? those innumerable people who have experienced a different upbringing in suburban Australia with the advantages like peers, shared experiences, or public recognition. I can envy them. [edited by moderator]
It sounds like life has been a cold hard ride for you. I get a strong sense from your post of pain and frustration...
To be sure; I believe there are others (here at Sane) who also feel such turmoil, as isolation, neglect, despair, anger, powerlessness, etc... Even if their experiences may not mirror yours.
I'm wondering how you're feeling at the moment?
You might find that there are people here willing to lend you a proverbial shoulder, and that the platform is a place to express yourself, with whatever thoughts and feelings that need to come out. In this way you are not alone.
Welcome. And thanks for sharing.
In response to: Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
OaktreeSenior Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
Hi @SollaSollew
Welcome to the forums.
So sorry to hear how hard your life has been up to now. No my life did not mirror yours but I grew up with my own difficulties. I don’t have any friends now either as a kid my parents shifted us around every year to year and a half. I gave up on making friends. I crave social interaction. I find Sane is a good place to make virtual friends and get some of that interaction. We are here to listen if you will give us the chance.
Meggle
In response to: Parent-less & Peer-less
hanamiSenior Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
Hi @SollaSollew
It sounds like your upbringing was really tough. I'm sorry to hear that, it must be so difficult for you, with many challenges.
I'm one of the peer moderators here at SANE and of course no one can be exactly like another person. We are all unique with our own story.
I'm wondering if I can ask what sort of support you would like on the forum? It would be really great to know how we can best support you.
Warmest wishes
Hanami
In response to: Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
@SollaSollew Hello
Hope you do find some sense of value from the forum. I do not believe in everything on the front page, but I guess we have to start somewhere. There are lots of different people with different histories and interests etc ... SOmetimes we need to tango with similar types and sometimes variety is the spice of life.
Sounds like you had a lot of neglect. For me part of the answer is finding ways to express my own reality. Hope you get some relief expressing yours. A lot of problems can occur behind closed doors ...
I had limited avenues of expression as a child with a lot of moving on and lack of connection. Some marginalised people seem to get more support than others according to the fashions of thought currently circulating....
In response to: Parent-less & Peer-less
ArraDreamingSenior Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
@SollaSellow there is a few of us here who have experience what you described, including me although some people may not be as open or willing to share so it could actually be a lot more ppl than it seem
In response to: Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
SollaSollewCasual Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
Thanks! I hope you're right. But I suspect not. I'd be very surprised if anyone else had quite the experience I've had. Raised [sic - definitely not raised] by 3 horrible witches. Since my early 20s I realised they were horrible and had mistreated me dreadfully. But I've only recently (age 60) realised they were actually the 3-headed hellhound of Lord Hades' underworld of greek mythology - the Cerberus - a head dedicated to keeping my past, present and future a living hell, for all eternity. Such is their legacy. People hating misanthropes, man hating misandrists, child hating misopedes. Tick tick tick. Never had a chance. In hell. They professed feminism and antipathy to the 'patriarchy', yet did precisely as the patriarchy and society demanded of them; the bible, and all the Abrahamic faiths, and western societies, commanded the illegitimate be destroyed lest they beget a lineage of illegitimates. Those born of licit, god-sanctioned sex are God's children. Ipso facto, those not so born can only be Satan's children. Those who engaged in illicit sex aren't illegitimate, of course. Only the blameless issue are. And their issue - should they bear any - will be illegitimate ever more. Hence the importance of monstering the illegitimate - making their lives miserable - and doing your utmost to ensure they don't have children themselves. My Cerberus achieved it's aim, and upheld the patriarchy perfectly. Bravo! Born to a teenage prostitute and her 24yo panderer in 1962, I was inexplicably not relinquished for adoption. Notwithstanding the maternal rejection began minutes after my birth; I was tellingly denied her breast, and the die was cast. I can only think she conceived and bore me to use me, naively thinking she would secure my father in her life. Of course she did not - twelve siblings to at least 4 other women attest to that now. When her scheme failed, rather than risk the opprobrium of relinquishing me as an afterthought, she simply kept me in a box, out of sight and out of mind, a proxy for my father she could spit upon as she desired.
In response to: Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
SollaSollewCasual Contributor
Re: Parent-less & Peer-less
Hi. I can feel for those who had to move a great deal in their childhood. I have a few friends who certainly suffered social isolation in that way. So too those whose parents lived itinerant rural lifestyles. I only realised how abusive my schoolteacher/principal grandmother had been by compelling me to follow her when I heard a chap on ABC radio about 20 years ago relate how he'd had to attend a rural school where his father taught, and felt it had severely compromised his social relationships with peers. At least he was in a school with peers of his neighbourhood. And with a teacher. Not me. I was unique. The only kid who didn't live in the area. The only kid who didn't walk to school in company each morning, leave each afternoon in company. The only kid who spent his childhood sitting in a car each morning and afternoon for 30 to 60 minutes, silently watching Melbourne traffic, never hearing nor speaking with peers. A stranger at school. A stranger in my suburb; what few children existed in my older suburb never encountered me at school. Recognised every other kid at little athletics, but not me. Nor I them. It could not be otherwise. No mere teacher for me. The principal. How do you suppose my peers reacted when approached by the kid who arrived each morning with the woman who used a leather strap upon the buttocks of a conga line of kids outside her office each afternoon. I had a force field around me, repelling other kids. Can you imagine how that felt to a 4yo? And every day until a 10yo? I think the Victorian dept. of education failed a duty of care to me. I hope to sue them soon for a very large sum.
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