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JlolSenior Contributor
I often have this feeling that I am an evil, bad person and should either not be alive or be isolated somewhere away from people.
I don't know why I feel this way. I don't think I've done anything particularly bad and that I'm a pretty normal person.
But this feeling in my gut that I am evil is just so strong.
Why is this?
In response to: Why do I feel "evil" often?
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Why do I feel "evil" often?
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Sorry to hear this, @Jlol and @outlander .
@Jlol Do you have a therapist you can work through these feelings with?
I know that similar feelings can sometimes come from childhood trauma, being told repeatedly that you were bad.
In response to: Re: Why do I feel "evil" often?
JlolSenior Contributor
Thanks @NatureLover
Yeah I've tried therapy time and time again and, for whatever reason, it just doesn't work for me.
I don't think I have any childhood trauma in that form. Certainly I was bullied very badly in school, but no one told me I was "bad", especially not my parents who were very supportive.
Actually, writing this right now made me think of something: The school I went to was a very small, very high-performing private school. The kids there were all very bright. Though I got good grades compared to all other students in the state, I was always at the lower end of the spectrum in my immediate class. This combined with always being psychologically bullied (as I said, the kids were very smart - they knew how to get in your head and mess you up) meant I always felt inferior, stupider and more socially backward then everyone else. Maybe that's part of the reason why.
In response to: Re: Why do I feel "evil" often?
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
@Jlol wrote:This combined with always being psychologically bullied (as I said, the kids were very smart - they knew how to get in your head and mess you up) meant I always felt inferior, stupider and more socially backward then everyone else. Maybe that's part of the reason why.
I'm sorry to hear this, @Jlol 😞
I hope it helps a bit, to know where part of those feelings might be coming from.
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