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Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

Loz_3647Senior Contributor12 June 2023, 9:15 am AEST

Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

Trigger warning ⚠️

I do not encourage this to anyone at all. This was my personal choice. I do not condone or encourage hurting yourself at all.

After trying to hold off doing anything. I couldn't hold off this morning. I had to self-harm [edited by moderator]....even just slightly (it DOES NOT require medical attention). I can't tell you the sigh of relief I breathed after. I know I'm sick in the head for it but it's satisfying. The pain built up inside doesn't stay away for long but I just needed a small breaker. I needed just that. I don't know if it will stop there but hec it was something. I still want to escape and it's not off the table but at least I can be in this moment. A very brief encounter but I just needed that for just a minute.

2 replies

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In response to: Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

tymeModerator12 June 2023, 10:17 am AEST

Re: Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

Hey @Loz_3647 ,

When the pressure in the pressure cooker can no longer be contained, something needs to give. As much as SH is not condoned, I hear the relief you felt afterwards.

In the past, SH was also a way to release pressure. So much so, it soon became an addiction. I knew it was only a bandaid to the root of my problems, and didn't help in the long run.

Working with my treating team and supports, I slowly found other ways of coping, and SH simply dropped off. I didn't actually have to tell myself "DO NO SELF HARM".... it just stopped.

I hope you will be able to find connections and supports in the future so that you learn more helpful coping mechanisms.

Please take care,

tyme

In response to: Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

Loz_3647Senior Contributor12 June 2023, 12:41 pm AEST

Re: Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️.....SH

I f*cking dragged myself out to go to a new dr on the off f*cking chance I might get some help. Then told it will be a 1.5hr wait. What a joke. I needed to speak to them now. So here I am back off home to do what I was going to do in the first place. Finish what I started this morning because it literally does not matter anymore.

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