Hi and welcome, @sandym
I'm wondering if you have any professional support? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist?
If not, then the first step is to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. This will entitle you to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. The only thing is that psychologists are so overwhelmed with demand at the moment that it could take 6 months to get in to see one. But it's a good idea to get on the waiting list now.
You can help this process by googling then ringing round psychologists in your area to ask: are they taking new patients at the moment, what is the wait time for a new patient to start, what are the costs, etc. Then you can take a name to your GP for the Mental Health Care Plan referral. (GPs might not know which psychologists are taking new patients and which have stopped as they are full.)
An important SANE Forums tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.
I hope you find the forums supportive...