@FTG
How old are your children? It seems common that teenagers or school-age children say they don't want to do things with their parents, but respond to suggestions of other adults. It could be that they want to hang out with friends rather than someone in a parental role who their perceive may judge them or impose restrictions? They may see their Aunty as an adult friend? Maybe they are trying to assert some independance or would like to choose friends? Do you have any friends with children around the same age that might be going through the same thing. Though not all children go through things at the same time or ways, it could help to know others are experiencing similiar to you.
Could you try asking them if they would like to bring a friend/s along? Perhaps suggest some parts of the activity that they could do independantly then meet back with you for other parts. Doing things with 1 or more other families could be good thing to try too?
It can be hard to see your children not want to be with you, but perhaps if you see it in a different way - as them developing their identity, independance and confidence to be around others? As they develop independance it allows you time to yourself - so try to embrace that time you may not have had when they were younger. If you are feeling a bit flat - maybe trying some self-care ideas to help you feel better. It sounds like you have been through a lot for your children & are willing to do so, but you also need to look after yourself so you can look after your children.
Maybe if you experiencing pain to be with them, they may see that pain and not want to be the reason you are in pain?
Sorry I hope my answers provide some different ideas for you to think about. Sorry if I am totally off the mark - feel free to ignore anything that isn't relevant or helpful to you.
