my brain

Hi @Salvia

I'm new around here, I'm one of the Peer Workers 🙂

You seem to hold curiosity around your experiences. I admire that! Being curious and wanting to learn more about what's going on for you.

How do you feel now? Do you feel you are in a space to receive some support and explore those questions like "Why is this happening?".

At Sane we offer some support that you might like to explore 🙂

Our Support Centre is staffed by Counsellors and Peer Support Workers, you are more than welcome to reach out to our Support Centre on 1800 18 72 63, Mon - Fri, 10 am – 10 pm AEST You also have the option to reach out via our texted base chat service. All of our services are free.

This forum and community is here to support you.

Sending lots of light

From,

fluffy light

Manmade and natural electricity goes against our brain.

It feel nefarious and so we shape it into things that are.

It's okay.

Thanks @David888, @creativewriter
@fluffylight,
I'll ring te counsellors if it keeps up. I've stayed in bed resting mostly today. Daytime & inside is ok, maybe it's just a nighttime thing. I'm worried it will overwhelm me again. Might have to quit my job cause I think the stress is tipping me over the edge. People but off sick this week. Thanks again.

Hi @Salvia ,

I hope you feel better soon.

As for work, I hear it is very stressful. Is there a possibility of reducing days/hours?

Please take care.

@Salvia that sounds very scary.

I also get scary intrusive thoughts sometimes. I used to get really worked up about them and think that they might become real, or that there was something majorly wrong with me to have these thoughts. My psychologist has taught me that if I get these scary intrusive thoughts it is just my brain's way of responding when I am overwhelmed with stressful events or thoughts. So the best way for me to deal with the thoughts is to not give them any attention - not be fearful of them or of what having them says about me. I know I need to focus on grounding myself with calm breathing, cuddling my dog, observing nature. Rest, distraction and calm. If possible I try to work out what is overwhelming me and try to reduce that overwhelm. Sometimes that means I write a long list of all the things that are stressing me, and then just start with tackling one. Other times even this is too much and I need to give myself time to unwind before I can start to do anything about my stressors. And when the stressors are things that I am powerless to do anything about that can be even harder, but sharing things with a trusted friend or therapist can help.

I hope you can give yourself time to recover, and in time can use this as an opportunity to identify your stressors and work towards reducing them or sharing the load. If you have a psychologist or other therapist, it may be a good time to reach out to them and tell them you are getting overwhelmed and what is going on for you.

Thanks all of you for your helpful replies. @CrazyChick especially clicked with me, enc to not stay frozen.

Another thing has happened though, maybe my soul sensed it coming. My big brother died Sunday, we were not close, though i wish it was different, he was one of my childhood abusers, and yet his death still affects me. That part of me that kept maturing I guess, this is sad. The other isn't even glad, just angry with him still. Have to still her. Gosh, i'm mixed up. Haven't done much since, bed mostly but will try go for a walk soon. Beautiful autumn day outside 😢

@Salvia

It makes sense for you to be both angry at what he did to you and sad for the brotherly relationship that you wished could have been.

Take it easy while you come to terms to with what his death means to you. Are you able to take some bereavement leave from your work?

Going for a walk on this beautiful Autumn day seems a great idea, but if that seems hard try to enjoy the weather in whatever way you can manage such as sitting somewhere pleasant outdoors. Gentle self care will help restore your calm.

@Salvia

Recovery can be a long and arduous road, but if you stop to smell some flowers along the way the journey is a little more bearable.