Tips on coping mechanisms

Hey @Lillifee I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with these intense thoughts. It's great that you do have some coping tools, but can also understand the frustration when they don't feel like they're working. Sometimes with coping tools, you need to practice them quite frequently for them to really work properly. Sometimes, it's more about the fact that different tools will work for different people.

Sometimes dark thoughts can feel comforting because they match the intensity of our emotional state. Sometimes it's because they allow us to imagine things were different. They can wake us up to what we might be needing in our lives at a given time.

Do you have much in the way of professional support? Someone to help you unpack and explore these thoughts and feelings can really make a difference.

Quick tip @Lillifee - if you want another member to get a notification that you've posted, use the @ symbol to see a drop down of others who have recently posted and click their name to tag them (or you can start typing their username if they don't appear in the drop down).

I'm glad you do have some ongoing support, but it sounds like life is really complex for you at the moment so it maybe doesn't feel like it's enough?

You can always give SANE's Drop In Service a buzz if you want to be able to talk to a counsellor about what you're experiencing - they're open 10am-10pm Mon-Fri on 1800 187 263. Sometimes we really do just need to talk through things more frequently than what we can get from therapy sessions!

@Jynx

Thanks. Yes, I would like to talk more often... But I'm feeling a bit too much, too needy. I've used helplines a few times in the past.

Just feeling stuck.

Hey there,

I too am new to this whole depression world, accompanied with diagnosed severe anxiety.

Recently my world got turned upside down with like, 4-5 things in the span of a day.

trust me, I’m still finding it hard at times. But those feelings eventually pass.

oh yeah it’s waaaaay easier said than done.

I personally go to my notes and I write down anything and everything. Whether it’s a song lyric I’ve created in my head or just a poem, or plans I have or an idea or just simple jibberish about how I want a storyline to play out in a show or game I’m playing.

It’s better to get it out than let it swim in your head.

Also I go for, well force myself to go, for about a 40 minute walk.

Another method I’ve tried is doing a plank challenge while listening to music. Even if it’s 30 seconds, set mini goals and achieve them.

for me getting out of bed was my first mini goal. Then I went doctors, and I went to about 3 before someone actually gave a shit and listened.

im on anti depressants and although they help, that’s just a band aid fix, the problem is still there.

one thing no one can prescribe is time, and if you hang on just that hour, that’ll turn in to days and so on. Then months down the track you look back and see everything you would of missed if you went another way.

i have a tattoo on my arm that says “it is what it is”, and looking back, I’d cut my arm off and slap myself with it because it is what YOU make it.

and most importantly don’t let anyone’s inability to see your worth, effect your value.
finding any joy in life is hard right now

but focus on things you can actually control rather on things you cant,

the past is a lesson but the future is what you do now.

hang in there even if you are holding on by just finger nails. You only lose if you stop trying.

@PolishSausage85 thank you 🙏🌞

hey @PolishSausage85 welcome to the forums, such wise words of support that I'm sure others can be inspired by. I'ts a tough journey, managing mental health. I am sure you will receive some good support on here. Again welcome and thanks for sharing.

Thank you @jazz I always thought I knew what it felt like to be down and out until recent times.

to be honest I went as far as writing goodbye notes then remembered the couple of friends that I lost to suicide. And being the one to be messaging others about such horrific news broke me.
it’s a feeling that no one should ever experience, and my head went to that dark place too, and at the time I didn’t care about others which is scary.

but people should know the pain your friends and family will carry long after you’re gone is indescribable.

and sometimes in the darkest of times is when a little light will shine.

the effects it has on your body, I understand why some want it to stop. But there has to be a fight in you, never giving up and the biggest thing for me was to set my ego and pride aside and admit, I’m not okay.

coming from a Polish background I was hardwired in to believing if you’re sad or down it’s a sign of weakness. Not true, that is the biggest stigma out there.

I’d rather listen to someone venting for 9 hours than attend their funeral.

I thought I was alone

but there are many in the same boat, so let’s not cause holes and sink, but float to a better life we all deserve 🙂

Wow @PolishSausage85 ❤️

The same thoughts that you described keep me going at the moment. The fear of hurting the ones closest to me. But I've had days were I didn't care. These are the scary ones.

And same here, I feel weak, and broken, and defect. Because I'm meant to function. And if not, I'm not worth anything.

I'll stop wincing now🙈

Thank you again.